I cant say enough about it. It is rising inside of me like never before. In fact my mind is so quiet I am coming up with novel thoughts and creative ideas because without “talking to myself” without the inner dialogue, not only can I listen to others I can listen to myself.

Everyone you listen to has it wrong. Its not about “hearing” If your barometer for listening is did you “hear” them, what did they say? Believe it or not, you are not listening. Because implicit in the word “hearing” is that you are using your brain to analyze what they said. So you are once again talking to yourself and engaging your brain vs simply listening.

Once again the best advice I can give is to pretend you are watching a new movie or show that you are excited to watch and just watch and listen, PERIOD. Dont analyze. Do you do that when you are watching your favorite actor? NO. You quietly observe and listen. In fact we love that because it stops us from our self talk and worries. But that is probably a subject for a whole different post.

Lets get back to listening. It is truly magical. When you are dead silent inside your own mind. And it is evolving by the day for me. Novel ideas are flowing from my own mind as well as relationships with others are being refreshed and renewed. And I feel surrounded by presence and love and it is all happening because I am able to stop talking to myself and or analyzing what others are saying. Sure sometimes I have to bite my tongue a few times. But its a muscle.

Lets call it the biting your tongue muscle. That gets stronger as well. There is nothing that can replace the magic of listening. And once again to be clear I am not talking about NLP. Its in the name neuro linguistic programming. You are listening with an active mind to hear cues that will help you repeat back to them something that will “program” them to buy your stuff., That is highly manipulative and kind of dishonest and lacking of integrity. Not that its not a powerful technique that can be used for good. Anthony Robbins has demonstrated countless times using those techniques and leverage to help people make positive changes.

Sorry for the segue. But lets just call it the Buddhist path to listening. That is when your mind is quiet. You are not analyzing what they are saying in any way shape or form. Think about that for a moment. If you Are analyzing what they are saying you are JUDGING. Whether you agree with them or not. Once again pure self referential. Not listening. Not giving the gift of presence or love.

We all desperately seeking to talk and to be heard. The greatest gift you can give someone is the gift of Pure Listening. Maybe thats what I shall call it.

More on this in my video.

PS Just did a google search. No one is saying what I am saying. They talk about all these active types of listening So by definition you are not listening because you are actively listening for comprehension, meaning and or to give feedback. That by definition means your brain is “on” and you are listening through your filter. . It is the opposite, Its not necessary it is interfering with pure listening. It is the antithesis of listening. Its kind of like breathing. Just shut the dialogue in your mind and listen.

Its a skill and you can get better at it. You will experience a completely different kind of life when you even get a small taste of it. Let me know. PS you might need a lot of psychotherapy or a few decades of the Sedona method before you can let go of enough of your shit to listen. Assuming you are a human who has been “being” on this planet for more than a decade you have experiences beliefs and opinions about whatever anyone is saying and the urge to help, affirm offer opinion etc, is pretty much irresistible.

Lets try a different approach I said all of the important things and repeated it in a video. But in re reading this I thought of yet another idea and an angle on this.

Lets elaborate on the concept of watching TV or a movie. Why do you do that? Isnt it to escape? So your brain is completely shut off while you are 100% engaged in watching TV or a movie, right? No judgements. (Well maybe LOL if there is shitty acting.) So if watching TV or a movie is such a great respite from your life, worries and problems that many do it compulsively, can we get that experience positively? I have found myself turning on the TV when I am getting a bite to eat while I am working at home or after a hard day of work. But again if there is that much magic in just watching and listening to something on a flat screen, that is exactly what I am saying you can get all day long in every interaction with every human being in your life, and its in 3D. Assuming you dont have 3D TV. Seriously I have experienced it first hand over and over again.

The side effect or even unintended consequence is the fact that your presence is the greatest gift you can possibly give to another human being, whether that is your boss, your friend, your lover, or your children. Now while it is the easiest thing on the planet logistically, because you are in contact with other human beings all day long, it is the hardest thing on the planet because you have a brain that is going to “think” about every thing they say. Its even going to get triggered by some of the things they say and you are going to experience different feelings. Heck something or anything they say could inspire hatred, anger, or trigger something from childhood. So the need to respond is going to be overwhelming. But what I am telling you is your world will change if you resist that urge.

The person you speak to will appreciate your presence and more importantly your silence. I promise you that 90% of the reason people fork over hundreds of dollars an hour to their “shrink” ( sorry shrinks, yet another group that will hate me) is that it is the only time in their life someone is listening to them without interruption. Sometimes at a psychiatric or psychological counseling session the patient has an aha moment without the therapist uttering a word.

Ok one more caveat before the hate mail, I said “sometimes”. So I am not dissing shrinks or doctors and or their training to recognize common patterns. Also if you do need help please seek it from a professional I am not a doctor.

OK back to the post or the elongated version. So you “get” to watch the movie of the favorite and most important people in your life, if you can just bite your tongue for a few minutes or even an hour. By the way we have all done this at least a few times. The time your sister, brother or best friend called you and said please can you just listened to what happened to me.

The distinction I am making here is to go the extra mile, wait a few times when they pause, let them go deeper. That will deepen your relationship and give them an even bigger gift.

PS I didnt mean to diss NLP or Tony Robbins, if you do hear certain cues about a person’s nature and you can get even more rapport with them by echoing their modality, ( visual auditory or kinesthetic) you can help people even more.

Personally I have a problem doing deep or pure listening and having my mind “off” and simultaneously engaging and analyzing what they are saying.

My whole point here is to listen deeply without any judgement or analyzing whatsoever. That is an extremely difficult order that reaps magical rewards. Its visceral, you can feel the connection between you and who you are listening to and the love and the deepening of the connection.

PS your boss and or your coworker deserves presence too. In conclusion let your “people time replace your TV” time. You can enjoy the movie of their life. You will be giving both of you a priceless gift.

Ok another comment, I am assuming anyone reading this has watched TV. So if you have that skill you can transfer that skill to listening and watching your friends and loved ones. Seriously the easiest way to learn something new is to apply a skill you already have. And yes like I said they will kick up thoughts feelings and emotions. Just keep your pie hole shut like you do when you watch TV and you will have a completely different experience. All of those overwhelming feelings will dissipate on their own and your friend, lover, coworker, or whoever you were listening to, is going to love you for giving them that gift. And you are getting a benefit too, you benefit from escaping from your own endless thoughts too.