success

Procrastination: A Doctor who has written 7 books knows nothing about it.

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I’m listening to all these experts, and it’s clear—they don’t have a procrastination bone in their bodies. They are doctors. They got through medical school, authored multiple books. They dont have a single procrastination bone in their body. You need to hear from someone who truly understands the struggle—someone like a crack addict, the ultimate dopamine seeker, who knows nothing about postponing pleasure to get something done.

Now, crack was after my time. I stopped using drugs in 1980, 44 years ago, long before crack and even before Richard Pryor’s infamous freebasing accident. So, I’m as close as you’re going to get to an expert.

From the Lowest of the Low to Success

How did I go from the lowest point to becoming extremely successful, making nearly a million dollars a year in commissions, and running a $30 million-a-year company? I also ran for Congress—both the United States Congress and subsequently the New Jersey Congress. I transmitted the first PDF advertisement to Time Magazine after contributing to the world wide PDF standards. Then I founded and managed a non-surgical cosmetic office that has delivered over 20,000 successful treatments and has become an international destination with patients flying in weekly.

I could go on, but I find people who boast about their accomplishments boring and in need of a shrink. Just know that I was the lowest form of life and reached reasonable levels of success. Now, let’s segue into what worked for me and, more importantly, what can work for you.

What Works for You?

Assuming you’ve managed to prepare or order a meal and aren’t sitting in your own mess, you have some level of motivation to get things done. Maybe your dishes are piled to the ceiling, but at least you made a meal or ordered one.

I’m pondering this today because, after listening to all the experts—doctors, best-selling authors—I’ve heard a few good ideas but nothing close to an aha moment. So, it’s time for me to tackle this topic.

Let’s Get Down to It

  1. Just Get Started: One expert suggested working for five minutes. I agree. For me, during tax season, I didn’t set a time limit. I just promised to start, and an hour flew by. Don’t let fear of failure stop you. It will get done imperfectly, as all things do. Promise yourself one minute or whatever works for you. Just get started.
  2. More on #1 A body in motion tends to stay in motion. Its a universal law that applies to us as well.
  3. Good Procrastination for Energy: Huh? Sometimes, I clean or clear clutter to open up space and get started. Clearing clutter can release energy, but you know when it crosses the line into procrastination. This isnt the time to vacuum the whole house.
  4. Clear Your Desk: Put papers into one pile, Apps like Getting Things Done or Things recommend just clearing the desk and making a pile without sorting or reading each paper. Open space and eliminate distractions.
  5. Time of Day: Identify when you’re most productive. Telling someone when to do something is idiotic. You might be most productive at 6 am, 10 am, 2 pm, 8 pm, or 10 pm. Study yourself—this is my number one rule for life.
  6. Study Yourself Again: When are you successful at getting things done versus procrastinating? Is it after your second cup of coffee at 8 am or 10 am? Is it when you’ve had protein and fat for breakfast? For me, eggs work best—they provide all the amino acids, fatty acids and choline for the brain.
  7. Don’t Waste Your Most Productive Time: Do the hardest mental tasks when you have your best energy. Don’t clean the house during your magic hours of productivity. That’s a rote task you can do anytime.
  8. Understand Your Task: I’m addressing people procrastinating on mental tasks that require research and trial and error. If you’re procrastinating on physical cleaning, the rules might be different. You might want to reverse the rules and do a little paperwork to break up house cleaning.
  9. Celebrate Your Successes: There’s a book called The One Minute Manager that suggests catching even the worst worker doing something right and congratulating them. If you’re treating yourself as the “worst worker” or procrastinator, celebrate your successes. Notice what led to the moment when you started on your taxes. Was it after a good meal? How long after eating? What supplements did you take?
  10. Different Forms of Procrastination: Eustress is good stress, coined by Hans Selye in 1976. I’m inventing “eu-procrastination”—Good procrastination.
  11. Euprocrastination (Good Procrastination):
    • A 5-minute exercise break.
    • A 5-minute cleaning break.
    • A 5-minute clutter clearing break.
    • A 5-minute walk.
    • 5 minutes of stretching.
    • 5 minutes of meditating.
    • 5 minutes of visualizing how good you’ll feel when it’s done.
    • A 5-minute break for water or a protein-based snack.
    • A 5-minute important phone call with a timer.
    • 5 minutes of “task changing.”
  1. Task Changing: You have to do your taxes, but you also need to schedule your yearly physical, send out a client invoice, and call your mother-in-law. Bringing a number 2 priority item to the forefront isn’t the end of the world. For some, it helps you get the hard task done. For others, it might lead you down a rabbit hole.
  2. Avoid Rabbit Holes: You know when you’re going down a rabbit hole. Don’t use replying to emails or Facebook comments as an excuse to procrastinate. Be aware of what you’re doing and stay focused.
  3. Study Yourself: Did I say that already? Repeat it. No one knows you better than you. We can all offer suggestions, but only you know what works for you and what you might still be hiding.

Final Thoughts

If you take nothing else away, remember to study yourself and be aware. You are the expert on you. Recognize what leads to procrastination and what leads to productivity. Great suggestions are everywhere, but only you can determine which ones apply to you.

Unless you have Tinker Bell, Jiminy Cricket, or Kazoo from the Flintstones, sitting on your shoulder, no one knows exactly what you’re doing except for you. I may be repeating myself, but it’s important to remember. This might lead to our next blog. Dont ask anyone about something specific. No one was there.

Getting Started is Simple Physics

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I can’t tell you how many things I’ve read about getting started on tasks. In fact, I was just reading yet another article that proposed the usual BS: breaking tasks into smaller parts and other hints we’ve all heard so often that if they actually worked, I wouldn’t be reading yet another article on the topic—nor would you. Maybe the solution is a lot simpler and staring us right in the face.

I would bet real money you’ve experienced this phenomenon. It’s a fact, no different than gravity. But let’s not only use it but embrace it on every level. It’s simple physics.

What if it’s truly that simple? It’s true in the universe. Ask yourself: How many times have you said, “I’ll just put this one thing away,” and 15 minutes later, you’ve embarked on cleaning the whole room? How many times have you procrastinated doing your taxes, week after week? Finally said you began downloading some 1099s, and then realized you were all done and just needed to send them to the accountant? How many times have you said you’d just walk one block and found yourself walking a mile? How many times have you said you’d give up sugar, alcohol, or whatever for just one day, and it became a week or even a lifetime habit? “A body in motion tends to stay in motion” 

In fact, that’s what AA is based on. Life is a lot simpler than we make it out to be. By the way, guess what all the books on habits are based on? It’s all the same: do it once or for a few moments, and you’re often off to the races.

But don’t forget another part of the first law: a body at rest will tend to stay at rest. Or closer to how it’s written: Newton’s First Law of Motion states that a body at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. This law is also known as the law of inertia.

So, you have to apply a disproportionate amount of force to get back in motion.

Have you also noticed how many of your 5-minute breaks turned into an hour? Talking to the guys here (I know you’re the gamers)—you took a break after working for an hour or a few hours (probably because you’re working from home), then decided to play one video game, and it turned into three or four? Or what about turning on the TV to catch up on the news, only to hear something designed to trigger you, and you just had to share it with a friend? (Okay, that one applies to all the myriad sexes.)

But don’t take my word for it. I’m merely asking you to look back on your life, even the past few weeks, months, or years, and ask if Newton’s Law applies to you. How many times have you gotten started on something difficult simply because you started—aka got in motion? I think it’s that simple. It applies to cleaning, decluttering, working on difficult things, and even the creative process. I’m pretty sure creatives are told to just start throwing out random ideas, thoughts, or paintings to see what evolves. Let me know with a comment.

PS: My previous idea a few posts ago was to do something for just one minute. That worked for me. My posture is almost perfect—better than it was even going back to my twenties. All I do is, for a moment—not even a minute—apply what the physical therapist taught me: stick your chest out and up a bit to open up your chest and relieve your back. The chest is where we get tight, and that rounds our shoulders. I often look to the right and left, up to 90%. That range of motion has also improved. I often grab the door frame to open up my shoulders, and on and on.

The point is, as in that post, even adding up one minute a day here and there—or, God forbid, a few times every hour (assuming you’re awake 18 hours a day, that’s 54 minutes a day)—I’ve now exceeded the amount of time you work out. And I would bet getting your body in motion all day is probably more beneficial than going to the gym for an hour and being a slug the rest of the day.

Back to the point of this blog—it’s actually a corollary to the one-minute idea. If you want to get something big done that requires sustained action, simply start. Or maybe it doesn’t require sustained action. But be cognizant that all you need is the initial push. Newton’s law is obvious. Does it take more motion to continue watching TV or scrolling on your phone, or does it require a certain amount of push just to get up out of bed or off your chair? It’s almost comical that I’m even posing this question.

Perhaps I need to hook up a pulley with a device to measure how many pounds of force it requires to lift your hopefully not-too-heavy body. So be cognizant of how many pounds of real physical and mental strength it takes to get started. And while you’re at it, how about making a habit of stretching your neck too? Otherwise, X, Z, and the youngest ones are all going to be hunched over, looking like 90-year-olds by the time they’re 40.

Sorry if this is too much information. I still have a functioning brain that brings other good things to mind when I try to convey even the simplest idea. So to recap: just get in motion. Hmm, what would be a good saying for that? Maybe “just do it”? How about “just start doing it”?

I would bet that might catch on. Just start doing it. Just start doing anything. Sure, the new AI, website, or article is going to hit some bumps and require a bit more work, but just start doing it. And if it ends up only being a minute, but you try every hour, that’s 18 minutes a day. And if you weren’t using a stopwatch, I would bet it might turn into an hour.

But one more time: the point of this is just get in motion. Often it’s actually easier to stay in motion.

PS It actually takes energy to stop a body in motion. Chew on that one. What if you became a perpetual motion machine. We have had days like that. We all certainly have had hours like that where we were on what we call “a tear” ripping through and getting an enormous amount of things done.

What’s Your Value? 9 Billion or Zero?

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What’s your value? Are you worth 9 billion, or are you worth nothing? Our perception is our reality. Some of us run businesses that create immense, life-changing value. Take, for example, those who dedicate themselves to helping autistic children—a gift so priceless it transcends any monetary measure. Yet, it’s amazing how often we overlook the true worth of what’s offered.

Then there are figures like Tony Robbins. He streamlined processes like NLP and even began his journey by pioneering ideas such as the “Fit for Life” concept from Harvey and Marie Diamond. He charges a premium—sometimes, simply attending his virtual sessions costs as much as $10,000. This is a stark reminder that value isn’t solely about tangible products; it’s also about the perception of success and expertise. Today, that perception is often shaped by a well-produced YouTube video or a glitzy website.

I’d venture to say that we all fall somewhere on that sliding scale. In my own business, I see it every day. Many of the doctors I admire, who rank highly on Google, offer procedures that come with real risks. Their glowing five-star averages often hide one-star reviews detailing everything from injuries caused by ultrasound on the face to freezing fat on the body that leads to paradoxical hyperplasia—not to mention RF microneedling, which carries the risk of scars. It begs the question: What do we truly offer, and more importantly, what is it really worth?

I’ve noticed that most people tend to undervalue what they bring to the table, while others overinflate their worth. Whether it’s a true con artist like Elizabeth Holmes, who swindled billions by claiming Theranos could run 100 blood tests on a single drop of blood, or someone like Bernie Madoff, there’s nothing inherently wrong with charging a high price for what you’re offering—if you’re delivering real value. It’s all about speaking loudly and confidently about what you bring to the world.

At the end of the day, our value is defined not by someone else’s perception but by our own belief in what we offer. So ask yourself: What do you offer? And more importantly, what is it truly worth? Embrace your worth, speak up for it, and never shy away from claiming the unique value that only you can bring.

PS: The movie The Dropout about Theranos really drove that point home and opened my eyes. It’s astounding to think that household names like Larry Ellison of Oracle, George Schultz, Walgreens, and so many others were taken in by the deception. Perception is reality.

Most of us see ourselves less than what we truly are?

The Imposter Syndrome
| johnas9000

What if what we think of as our imposter is actually our real identity? And what we think of as our real identity is just miles below what we truly are—and how others see us?

I see this in myself and in many of my friends—really accomplished people in their respective fields. And yet, I don’t think I have a single friend who truly sees how great they are. Let’s face it—we’ve all accomplished great things. We are doing things that are on par with some of the most famous people in the world. The only difference between us and “them” is that they have no humility. Or maybe it is us that is too humble.

I see this same pattern in all my friends. They’ve done incredible things—helped people find homes, in NJ Miami, secure financing, build websites more beautiful than those of the most prestigious studios in Beverly Hills. And yet, they don’t see themselves as remarkable. The only difference between them and those with millions of followers? Their opinion of themselves.

I see many doing astonishing things—raising an autistic child completely drug-free against doctors’ orders and standard of care, creating awards shows for legends like Quentin Tarantino and Robert De Niro, building things, helping people, coaching people, creating new paradigms in real estate—residential, commercial, even wholesale. The list is endless.

We all grew up with parents or guardians who, even with the best intentions, warned us about dangers to protect us. But in today’s world, there are no lions, tigers, or bears roaming the streets of New York City. Instead, we fear humiliation, rejection, or failure. We hesitate to start businesses, share our opinions, or take bold chances. And yet, the ones who do—who see themselves as capable—often meet with obscene success.

Most of us, aside from a few creatively or scientifically gifted individuals, have roughly the same abilities. The only real differentiator is how we see ourselves—or more precisely, who we believe ourselves to be.

The billionaires brag all the time about ordinary things. Their only difference is that they shout to the world that they are the best at what they do. I’m not talking about physical achievements, which can be easily measured. I mean in real estate, financing, law and other every day industries and professions.

In mine the gap is extraordinary. I can’t tell you how many lectures I’ve attended where a doctor is promoting CoolSculpting. Now, CoolSculpting is finally being recognized for the dangers it poses. In fact, supermodel Linda Evangelista sued them for $50 million. I was horrified by this technology back in 2016 and created two websites—coolsculpting.nyc and fatfreezingnewyork—to warn people. Yet there are still over 5,000 doctors still offering it, when there are dozens of safe radiofrequency alternative that dont post the risk of disfigurement and actually have a side effect of smoother tighter skin. 

Every day, I talk to people who have gone through unnecessary procedures because they didn’t trust their own judgment. Today, I spoke with a young woman who got so much Botox that she now thinks she needs a brow lift. That’s insane. Too much Botox—shame on that doctor. The Botox will wear off in three to five months, and now he is recommending a surgery? A brow lift could permanently disfigure her. Instead, we’ll likely reinvigorate her muscles with Emface.

I’ve done many things that, by any objective measure, I could consider myself world-famous for. In my old career in Graphic Arts, I lectured at the Harvard Club in New York, helped create the standards for PDF, and transmitted the first digital ad to Time Magazine. But

The only difference between you and the ones with millions of followers is how you see yourself. PERIOD. No one can see you higher than you see yourself. And often, we see ourselves much lower than everyone else does.

It’s time to shift that perspective. PS kudos to Anthony Robbins, he alluded to attaching ourselves to our “imposter” version of ourselves.

Getting Started is Simple Physics

| johnas9000

I can’t tell you how many things I’ve read because I, probably like everyone, have trouble getting started on tasks. In fact, I was just reading yet another article that proposed the usual BS: breaking tasks into smaller parts and other hints we’ve all heard so often that if they actually worked, I wouldn’t be reading yet another article on the topic—nor would you. Maybe the solution is a lot simpler and staring us right in the face.

Not only that, but I would bet real money you’ve experienced this phenomenon—or should we call it a fact? It’s a fact, no different than gravity. But let’s not only use it but embrace it on every level. It’s simple physics.

What if it’s truly that simple? It’s true in the universe. Ask yourself: How many times have you said, “I’ll just put this one thing away,” and 15 minutes later, you’ve embarked on cleaning the whole room? How many times have you procrastinated doing your taxes, week after week, in February after you get your W-2? In March, you finally said you’d begin downloading some 1099s, and then realized you were all done and just needed to send them to the accountant? How many times have you said you’d just walk one block and found yourself walking a mile? How many times have you said you’d give up sugar, alcohol, or whatever for just one day, and it became a lifetime habit? ““A body in motion tends to stay in motion” 

In fact, that’s what AA is based on. Life is a lot simpler than we make it out to be. By the way, guess what all the books on habits are based on? It’s all the same: do it once or for a few moments, and you’re often off to the races.

But don’t forget another part of the first law: a body at rest will tend to stay at rest. Or closer to how it’s written: Newton’s First Law of Motion states that a body at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. This law is also known as the law of inertia.

So, you have to apply a disproportionate amount of force to get back in motion.

Have you also noticed how many of your 5-minute breaks turned into an hour? Talking to the guys here (I know you’re the gamers)—you took a break after working for an hour or a few hours (probably because you’re working from home), then decided to play one video game, and it turned into three or four? Or what about turning on the TV to catch up on the news, only to hear something designed to trigger you, and you just had to share it with a friend? (Okay, that one applies to all the myriad sexes.)

But don’t take my word for it. I’m merely asking you to look back on your life, even the past few weeks, months, or years, and ask if Newton’s Law applies to you. How many times have you gotten started on something difficult simply because you started—aka got in motion? I think it’s that simple. It applies to cleaning, decluttering, working on difficult things, and even the creative process. I’m pretty sure creatives are told to just start throwing out random ideas, thoughts, or paintings to see what evolves. Let me know with a comment.

PS: My previous idea a few posts ago was to do something for just one minute. That worked for me. My posture is almost perfect—better than it was even going back to my twenties. All I do is, for a moment—not even a minute—apply what the physical therapist taught me: stick your chest out and up a bit to open up your chest and relieve your back. The chest is where we get tight, and that rounds our shoulders. I often look to the right and left, up to 90%. That range of motion has also improved. I often grab the door frame to open up my shoulders, and on and on.

The point is, as in that post, even adding up one minute a day here and there—or, God forbid, a few times every hour (assuming you’re awake 18 hours a day, that’s 54 minutes a day)—I’ve now exceeded the amount of time you work out. And I would bet getting your body in motion all day is probably more beneficial than going to the gym for an hour and being a slug the rest of the day.

Back to the point of this blog—it’s actually a corollary to the one-minute idea. If you want to get something big done that requires sustained action, simply start. Or maybe it doesn’t require sustained action. But be cognizant that all you need is the initial push. Newton’s law is obvious. Does it take more motion to continue watching TV or scrolling on your phone, or does it require a certain amount of push just to get up out of bed or off your chair? It’s almost comical that I’m even posing this question.

Perhaps I need to hook up a pulley with a device to measure how many pounds of force it requires to lift your hopefully not-too-heavy body. So be cognizant of how many pounds of real physical and mental strength it takes to get started. And while you’re at it, how about making a habit of stretching your neck too? Otherwise, X, Z, and the youngest ones are all going to be hunched over, looking like 90-year-olds by the time they’re 40.

Sorry if this is too much information. I still have a functioning brain that brings other good things to mind when I try to convey even the simplest idea. So to recap: just get in motion. Hmm, what would be a good saying for that? Maybe “just do it”? How about “just start doing it”?

I would bet that might catch on. Just start doing it. Just start doing anything. Sure, the new AI, website, or article is going to hit some bumps and require a bit more work, but just start doing it. And if it ends up only being a minute, but you try every hour, that’s 18 minutes a day. And if you weren’t using a stopwatch, I would bet it might turn into an hour.

But one more time: the point of this is just get in motion. Often it’s actually easier to stay in motion.

PS It actually takes energy to stop a body in motion. Chew on that one. What if you became a perpetual motion machine. We have had days like that. We all certainly have had hours like that where we were on what we call “a tear” ripping through and getting an enormous amount of things done.

Self Confidence: Outdated Beliefs: vs taking Responsibility for Who You Are Today

| johnas9000

We all carry messages from our past that continue to influence us today—whether we realize it or not. These messages often come from our parents, teachers, or other significant figures in our early lives. Even church which teaches humility. Sometimes, these beliefs are so ingrained that we don’t even question them, even when they seem absurd in hindsight. But holding onto these outdated beliefs can be a form of self-sabotage. To articulate, “I am this way because of my parents” or “what someone said in the past” is crazy talk.

How many times have you heard a stupid story told by a friend where they were so humiliated or embarrassed at school? Let me help you out a little, that too is crazy talk. You cant go back to that now dead teacher and ask her not to make fun of you or whatever happened and change it.

There is evidence that every time we recall a memory it changes. So it is more likely that you can modify or change your memory because you literally do it anyway, every time you recall a memory.

For example, I vividly remember how my parents never gave compliments. One day, my mother came home from tennis, complaining about her partner who constantly praised her children. She told me it was obnoxious, and I questioned, “What’s wrong with that?” Those children will grow up believing in themselves, landing the best jobs, finding great partners, and living wonderful lives. But for my parents, compliments were taboo, sacrilegious and absolutely non existent.

In business, I relinquished my salary and went into sales to be paid commission only because I didnt want to be the idiot son since it was my father’s business. I acquired three to five million in sales, for many years. For perspective commissions at that time went as high as 25%. I also took over as CEO. I hired the top technical expert from California. We went on to help write the standards for PDF and transmitted the first PDF to Time magazine. I hosted educational seminars at the Harvard Club for the advertising agencies, bringing in companies like DuPont, Adobe, and Time Magazine to educate. Despite these accomplishments, my father never gave me a single compliment. The closest I got was hearing from my CFO that my father mentioned once that he thought I was doing a good job.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking, “If only I had received more praise, I’d have more confidence today,” or actually saying, “This is why I am the way I am.” But that’s crazy talk. At some point, we have to take responsibility for who we are now. We can’t change the past—unless you’re willing to exhume some bodies—but we can change who we are today, how we let it affect us, or totally discard those notions.

There are a few ways to move beyond these old messages:

Take Responsibility: First and foremost, take responsibility for who you are today. No matter what happened in the past, you have the power to shape your future. And you choose your identity every single day when you wake up.

Play with Hypnosis or Subconscious Techniques: If you’re interested, you can use techniques like hypnosis to reprogram your subconscious mind. There are some great methods for imagining or rewriting your past.

Imagine a Different Past: You can also use a technique inspired by Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol.” Just as Scrooge revisits Christmas past, present, and future, you can imagine a different past for yourself—one where you received the praise and recognition you deserved. Simply pretend, imagine a different childhood. Ask yourself, what if they said I was the smartest, most capable, attractive person that everyone wants to work with and or be with, how would you feel?

Ultimately, we need to get over these outdated beliefs and take control of our lives. The past may have shaped us, but it doesn’t have to define us.

PS Dont forget the most famous, successful iconic people of all times do not have any initials after their name. In case you forgot, a few notable drop outs, Steve Jobs, Michael Dell, Bill Gates, So if you even have a college degree you have more status recognition or diplomas then quite a few and if you even graduated High School you have one more degree than Richard Branson and Quentin Tarantino.

The Serendipity Factor: How Luck, Proximity, and Hard Work Shape Our Lives

| johnas9000

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to effortlessly stumble upon success while others toil away without seeing much progress? It’s a question that intertwines elements of chance, environment, and individual effort. Many decisions and life paths are influenced more by the circumstances and opportunities we encounter than we might realize.

Proximity and Serendipity

From the college we attend to the friends we make, proximity often dictates our choices. For instance, people frequently choose their college based on where their friends are going. It’s not uncommon for individuals to take up hobbies, experiment with substances, or even enter relationships simply because of the people and opportunities that happen to be nearby. Shows like 90 Day Fiancé fascinate us not just because they are a train wreck, but because they highlight the rare few who venture far beyond their local bar to find love.

Luck and Opportunity

Success stories often hinge on serendipitous moments. Take Bill Gates, for example. According to Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers, Gates had access to a free public library with vast computer resources, an opportunity not available to most kids at the time. Similarly, many athletes born in January are literally a year older than their peers in youth sports, giving them a significant early advantage that often leads to professional careers.

Oprah Winfrey’s journey is another testament to the role of chance. She was reportedly fired as a news anchor and reassigned to daytime television just to fulfill her contract. This “failure” turned into an extraordinary success as she transformed daytime TV with her unique style.

Many people have also lost a fortune or a large amount of their savings investing in their best friends’ businesses. While early associates of Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg made fortunes, an equal amount of money has likely been lost by people investing with whoever was in their proximity, highlighting the risks of making decisions based solely on personal connections.

Hard Work and Preparedness

While luck and chance provide opportunities, it’s often hard work and preparedness that allow individuals to seize these moments. Consistent effort and skill development enable people to capitalize on the chances they encounter. The combination of being ready when luck strikes and having the tenacity to overcome setbacks is crucial.

The Dangers of Stumbling into Substances

A significant and often tragic example of serendipity is the exposure to substances. Many adolescents and young adults start using drugs or alcohol because their friends do. This proximity-based decision can lead to addiction, health problems, or even death. It’s a stark reminder of how critical it is to make informed, conscious choices rather than simply following the crowd.

  • Learn to Say No: It’s essential to develop the ability to say no to harmful influences. Just because friends or acquaintances are experimenting with substances doesn’t mean you should too. Making conscious decisions to avoid these pitfalls can significantly impact your health and future.

Expanding Horizons with Technology

Today, we have the internet, which offers unprecedented access to information and opportunities beyond our local environments. This connectivity allows individuals to make more informed decisions and connect with resources and people worldwide, mitigating some of the limitations of proximity. For example, instead of relying on the local bar to find a partner, people can use dating apps to expand their search globally.

The Balance of Factors

Success is often the result of a complex interplay of luck, environment, hard work, and informed decision-making. Understanding how these elements interact can help individuals navigate their paths more effectively. Acknowledging the role of luck and chance can lead to a more balanced view of success and reduce the tendency to attribute outcomes solely to individual merit or effort.

Practical Application

Using the Web for Opportunities: The internet is a powerful tool that can help you explore opportunities beyond your immediate environment. Whether it’s for business, education, or personal relationships, leveraging online resources can significantly broaden your horizons.

Mindful Decision-Making: Be present and intentional with your decisions. Use available tools and resources to expand your horizons and create more opportunities for success. By being proactive and leveraging technology, you can enhance your chances of success by seeking out opportunities that align with your goals and interests.

Saying No to Harmful Choices: Make a conscious effort to avoid negative influences, especially when it comes to substances. Understanding the long-term impact of these decisions and being strong enough to say no can save your life and improve your overall well-being.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while luck and proximity play significant roles in shaping our lives, hard work and informed decision-making are equally crucial. By understanding and leveraging the interplay of these factors, we can navigate our paths more effectively and create more opportunities for success. So, whether you find yourself inspired by the unusual love stories on 90 Day Fiancé or the serendipitous success of a tech mogul, remember that you have the power to influence your journey through a blend of preparation, opportunity, and intentional action.

Exploring Your “Woulds”: Bringing Clarity to Your Dreams

| johnas9000

What about your “woulds”? We often find ourselves saying, “I would do this if…” But what if we truly considered these “woulds”? What would you do if it were easy, if you had the money, if the steps were clear, if you had part-time help, or if you had the time? Isn’t it worth considering your “woulds”? Perhaps bringing your “woulds” out of the woods might truly bring you clarity.

The Power of “Would”

How many people have found themselves saying, “This is what I would do if I had the money”? Some of those people were lucky. They lost their jobs and were forced to follow their dreams and their passions, ultimately becoming successful in pursuing their dreams. It’s time to stop and examine your “woulds.” Great clarity, greater success, fulfillment, and purpose will be found when you get out of the darkness of the woods and bring out your true “woulds”—the ones that are in your heart and soul.

Identifying Your True “Woulds”

Your true “woulds” are often apparent. How many times have you spoken to a friend, and they are blown away by your passion when you speak about your art, music, love of healthy foods, cooking, exercise, teaching, or any other interests? There are as many vocations and avocations as there are people. In today’s connected society, you could be teaching a course to people anywhere in the world. With today’s AI technology, it could be simulcast in many languages in real time, and even questions and answers can be handled in real time.

Steps to Bringing Your “Woulds” to Life

  1. Identify Your Passion:
    • What is it that you would do if all obstacles were removed? Consider your hobbies, interests, and the things that make you feel alive.
  2. Clarify the Steps:
    • Break down the process into clear, manageable steps. What do you need to do first, and what comes next?
  3. Seek Resources:
    • What resources do you need? Consider financial resources, time, help from others, and any tools or equipment.
  4. Create a Plan:
    • Develop a step-by-step plan to turn your “woulds” into actionable goals. Set deadlines and milestones to track your progress.
  5. Leverage Technology:
    • Use technology to your advantage. Teach online courses, create digital content, or start a virtual business. The world is your potential customer base.
  6. Take Action:
    • Start small if necessary, but take the first step. As you progress, adjust your plan as needed and keep moving forward.

Real-Life Inspiration

Consider the stories of people who turned their “woulds” into reality:

  • Entrepreneurs who started businesses with little money but a lot of passion.
  • Artists and musicians who pursued their crafts despite financial uncertainty.
  • Teachers and coaches who reached global audiences through online platforms.

These individuals found great success by following their passions and bringing their “woulds” out of the woods.

Conclusion

There is no excuse to not pursue your passion in today’s world. The whole world is your potential audience, and with the right steps and mindset, you can bring your “woulds” to life. It’s time to stop shoulding on yourself and others and start exploring the possibilities of your “woulds.” Embrace your passions, clarify your steps, and take action to create the fulfilling life you envision.

Are You on the Road Less Travelled, Most Travelled, or Not Travelled?

| johnas9000

The book “The Road Less Travelled” sparked a movement towards meditation and self-reflection. It’s great to reflect on your life and your soul, but what about the actual path you’re on? The road we choose in life shapes our experiences, our happiness, and our fulfillment. So, let’s explore the roads most travelled, less travelled, and not travelled at all, along with their benefits and pitfalls.

The Road Most Travelled

This path is well-worn and widely accepted by society. It often includes marrying within one’s culture and religion, settling down, having a stable job, and following societal norms.

Benefits:

  • Predictability: Provides a stable, predictable life.
  • Support System: Surrounded by like-minded people and a strong community.
  • Less Risk: Fewer unknowns and generally fewer risks.

Pitfalls:

  • Lack of Exploration: May leave you wondering about life outside the bubble.
  • Conformity Pressure: Pressures to conform can stifle individual growth and creativity.
  • Potential for Regret: Following a set path without questioning may lead to mid-life crises or regrets.

I often think about what my life would have been like if I had taken this road. My parents wanted me to marry a nice girl within our culture and religion, which likely would have led to a peaceful life. But I always questioned everything and still do. Considering the high divorce rate, the road most travelled might not work for everyone.

The Road Less Travelled

This path involves questioning societal norms, exploring different lifestyles, and often pursuing passions that aren’t mainstream.

Benefits:

  • Self-Discovery: Provides opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery.
  • Fulfillment: Pursuing passions and interests can lead to deep fulfillment.
  • Innovation: Encourages creativity and original thinking.

Pitfalls:

  • Uncertainty: Constant unknowns and instability.
  • Isolation: Can be lonely and isolating, as fewer people understand or support your choices.
  • Risk: Higher risk of failure and facing numerous challenges.

I always wondered what life would be like on this path. Despite the unknowns and perils, this road is filled with excitement and exhilaration. However, life comes with no guarantees, and it’s like a puzzle with an unknown picture, regardless of the path you choose.

The Road Not Travelled

This is the path of constant adventure and discovery, where you forge your way through unknown territories and create your own rules.

Benefits:

  • Excitement: Constant novelty and adventure.
  • Independence: Complete freedom to chart your own course.
  • Unique Experiences: Rich, diverse experiences that few others have.

Pitfalls:

  • High Risk: Extreme uncertainty and potential for significant setbacks.
  • Loneliness: Often a solitary journey with limited support.
  • Stress: High levels of stress and the need for constant decision-making.

I’ve often said I wish my brain allowed me to join the union, get married to a “nice” girl, settle down in Staten Island or NJ, have kids and a dog, and watch my family multiply. But my brain craves adrenaline, endorphins, and dopamine. My life will continue on the road not travelled, filled with excitement, novelty, and adventure.

Reflection and Balance

Regardless of the path you’re on, it’s valuable to step onto the opposite road occasionally. If you’re on the road most travelled, try something new or different. If you’re on the road not travelled, take a break and spend some time on the comfortable, well-worn path. It’s okay to take a break from fighting dragons and navigating the unknown jungle every day.

A Proposal for Reflection

Reflect on the road you’re on and consider taking a few steps on the opposite path. Life is a journey with no guarantees, and exploring different roads can provide a richer, more fulfilling experience. Embrace the adventure, the stability, or the novelty that each path offers, and find your own unique way to navigate through life.

P.S. Whether you are aware of it or not, you are on the road not travelled. Every little thing that made you who you are is unique. No one had the exact same parents as you. Were they domineering, demanding, not around, divorced, loving, nasty, abusive? No one went to the same kindergarten, grade school, high school, and college as you. No one had all the same teachers and coaches you had. Even if you had an identical twin, your paths diverged here and there. So, enjoy your road.

And when is it time to create a road that literally doesnt exist but is of your making.