Listen Like Oprah. Talk Like Obama.

Oprah could make anyone feel heard.
Not just “heard,” but felt. Understood. Seen. That skill earned her a billion dollars.

Obama? He spoke with such resonance clarity and rhythm, That skill earned him the Presidency.

You dont have to agree with either of them. You dont even have to like them. But when it comes to creating relationships individually or even the world. They embody the greatest in speaking and listening and thats what you do every day with everyone.

That’s it. That’s the blog.
If you take the ball and run with it—if you really get it—
Your life will change.
Your relationships will deepen.
You can stop reading now.

Still here?

Good. Then let’s go deeper.

The First Skill: Listen Like Oprah

Deep listening isn’t a cute communication trick. It’s a superpower.
To listen like Oprah means dropping the voices in your head.
Yes, those voices:
– The voice preparing your response.
– The voice judging what they’re saying.
– The voice itching to say, “Me too!”

Thoughts will pop up. That’s normal.
But true listening means having the discipline to let those thoughts go and return—again and again—to the person in front of you.

Because here’s the truth:
No matter how profound your story or how helpful your insight might be,
it can wait.
Bite your tongue.
Stay with them.

If you’re truly present, something magical happens:
They go deeper.
They open up.
They feel your presence—and they want to stay there.

The Second Skill: Talk Like Obama

Obama didn’t rush.
He didn’t try to cram in every thought at once.
He gave you space—space to feel, space to digest what he was saying.

That’s how you speak so people remember.

We live in a world where speed is mistaken for clarity.
But slowness is power.

If you want to be heard: slow down.
If you want your words to land: pause.
If you want to connect: let your voice breathe.

This is the paradox of real communication:
We talk fast to be heard… and end up ignored.
We interrupt to connect… and end up pushing people away.

The Real Secret? It’s Not About You.

The moment you drop the need to be impressive,
The moment you stop trying to sound smart, or be right, or fix something,
You start to connect.

When someone speaks to you, listen not just for the words—
Listen for what’s not said.
The tone.
The hesitations.
The body language.

Then ask about that.

“I noticed your tone shifted when you talked about your daughter. What’s going on there?”

That’s the kind of listening people never forget.
That’s the kind of question that opens hearts.
That’s where the real stuff lives.

Final Thought

This isn’t a gimmick.
This is a way of being.

Listen like Oprah. Talk like Obama.
And watch your world change.


Be Real Dont be like ChatGPT & Sound like a Posh Ahole (plus how to give complements)

Ever notice when you ask chatgpt to write something it sounds like a posh ass hole? No one uses the adjectives it uses or the formal tone it uses. Its not friendly. Its not inviting. It doesnt create rapport. It doesnt sound like a business you would be comfortable with. So I went right to the source and asked chatgpt why it does that. Here is what ensued.

ME. why do you write like a posh person

ChatGPT

As an AI language model, I don’t intentionally write like a posh person or any particular style. My responses are generated based on patterns and structures learned from the text data I’ve been trained on, which includes a wide variety of writing styles, including formal and informal language. If my responses come across as posh or formal at times, it’s likely because those patterns are present in the data I’ve been trained on or because the context of the conversation may call for a more formal tone. However, I can adapt my style based on the preferences of the user or the context of the conversation. Please feel free to let me know if you’d prefer a different tone or style!

ME rewrite that answer as a normal human being with a 2000 vocabulary

ChatGPT

I don’t purposely try to sound posh or formal when I write. My responses come from learning patterns in text, which include all sorts of writing styles, from casual to formal. If I sound posh sometimes, it’s likely because that’s how some of the data I’ve learned from is written or because the conversation seems to call for a more formal tone. But I can adjust how I write based on what you prefer or what fits the conversation. Just let me know if you want me to change it up!

ME rewrite that like you are from the Bronx

ChatGPT

Yo, I ain’t trying to sound all fancy or anything when I write. My responses come from soaking up all kinds of text, from chill to uptight. So if I come off a bit posh sometimes, it’s probably ’cause that’s how some of the stuff I learned from goes down, or ’cause the convo seems to be on that vibe. But yo, I can switch it up if you want. Just say the word!

ME Ok slightly less bronx. Just more informalChatGPT

Hey, I don’t mean to come off all fancy when I write. My responses are just based on everything I’ve soaked up from different types of writing. So if I sound a bit posh sometimes, it’s probably ’cause that’s what I’ve been exposed to, or maybe ’cause the convo feels like it needs a bit of formality. But hey, I can totally change it up if you want. Just give me a heads-up!

ME can you rewrite that like me

ChatGPT

Sure thing! Here’s a rewrite of your request:

Hey, I don’t mean to sound all fancy when I write. My responses are just based on everything I’ve picked up from different kinds of writing. So if I come off a bit posh sometimes, it’s probably because that’s what I’ve been exposed to, or maybe because the conversation feels like it needs a touch of formality. But hey, I can totally switch it up if you want. Just give me a shout!

Wow! Isnt that guy the best writer of all? Oh its me, surprise. It actually did capture the way I speak and or write. I write the way I speak. Why wouldnt you? Why not make people feel like you are speaking to them? Isnt that the whole point of writing something? Not to flatter yourself but to make the reader feel like you are speaking to them.

Maybe I should just write it myself. It seems like we all have our own “tone” way of speaking. MIne is unmistakeable. As I am currently in a new training at Unblinded. Everyone knows when its John speaking its going to be brutally honest. I love the way that I speak. Its refreshing in today’s world. No I dont say things that will cause me and my business get cancelled.

But there is “honesty” that makes everyone feel good. Everyone knows that if I give a complement it is real. I will find exactly what I like. I would never say “I want to acknowledge you.” I would more likely say “that was friggin amazing” or “I loved the way you presented that” or “your tone was perfect” or “it was truly amazing how you managed to speak and explain it in a way anyone could understand and also explained the technical in a way that anyone could understand”. If you cant identify what you are complementing. DONT

I would never say “you look great today”. I might say “that color looks great on you.” You have to notice WHY. It is essential for an honest complement. Is it the length of the skirt, the angles that flatter that person. Something prompted you to complement someone whether it was business or personal. Dont be lazy ask yourself exactly what it was and then articulate it.

PS I do have one example of obviously a very real complement that worked on me as a pick up line back in the nineties. It was by a woman for her friend that was a bit comical. She said “we were just admiring you and the way you were confidently standing with the light shining off you head” LOL I said you need to work on your pick up lines. (I was shaving my head at the time). She continued to say not for me but my friend.

Well it worked anyway. The next week we were on our way to Caso DeCampo on a G5 ( private plane) to stay in a villa that rented for $100,000 a week that they owned with 10 servants cooks etc. Her husband owned Monster.com A big deal back then. She was picking me up for her friend.

So dont be posh. Speak like a human being. How about speaking like yourself? Everyone has innate genius within. I now have 3 great lines worth framing, that everyone loves, from my new great friend, and, dare I say mentor? Fernando of Unblinded.

1 I am never stressed when I am doing only when I am thinking of what to do

2 We spend more time avoiding than doing

3 The only way to stay stuck is to stay still

He might need his own page soon

Apologies because in typical John style I seemed to have segued and gone all ADD on you as I expressed a few ideas to ruminate upon. I got in one posh word. I had to look it up. It seems I used it correctly. So lets recap.

I started with beware of chatgpt not sounding human. Dont be posh, be relatable. Give real complements that you can explain in real words. Dont give posh complements. PS I am not mismatching. I am acknowledging the value of acknowledging. I am merely suggesting that you make it real by identifying exactly what you are acknowledging in your “own voice” so that the people that know you can really take it in. They know exactly how you sound when you sincerely mean something. PS sometimes I cant help myself. There are no adjectives Sometimes someone does something so fukin awesome there are simply no other words to describe it. And every human being has genius within. Identify your own genius and let him or her to come out and play and express themselves. And a little wisdom from Fernando to make every day productive.

PS If you didnt like my style of writing, you would have been gone a long time ago. I am writing like I am speaking to you. I hope you actually find a wide variety of advice in my style of communicating. Funny my wife keeps asking me how, when and or why I changed the subject and how one thing had anything to do with the other. She is very focused. She has to be she is a surgeon. But guess what I have the cure for “speaking to everyone, even those whose styles are different than yours. Just dont speak, listen. Perfect rapport comes from listening. Oops there I go again. I better stop now.