We’ve all heard the saying “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.” But let’s flip that on its head for a moment. The grass isn’t just greener; it’s yellower, browner, bluer—it’s every color under the sun. And yes, there’s a fence.

First, let’s consider the numbers. There are 7.9 billion people in the world. That means there are probably millions of potential partners for you. But with 87,600 hours in a decade, it would take you around 120 years to spend just one hour with each of them—without a wink of sleep. Clearly, meeting everyone isn’t practical.

Then there’s the fence. The partner you’re with might lock that fence the moment you leave, never letting you back in. While you’re busy thinking the grass is greener on the other side, remember it’s also all other colors. People come in all shapes and sizes: better looking, richer, poorer, kinder, stronger, smarter, weaker, more or less successful. The variety is endless.

But why are you so focused on the other side of the fence? Are you the type who is always looking elsewhere, always outer-directed, never happy, never looking inward? Are you expecting to get your feelings from outside yourself? This opens a Pandora’s box of questions about you.

Of course, there will always be people on the other side of the fence with qualities that attract you. That’s as certain as the sky is blue. You can choose to live a life of serial dating, or you can care for one person deeply. You can care for multiple people, or you can cherish those you’ve taken as your family.

It’s your choice. Stop asking the wrong questions and start looking within. What do you really want? The grass might be all colors on the other side, but where you are now can be just as vibrant if you choose to see it.