rapport

The Golden Retriever Approach: Another Distinction on Rapport

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In my journey of understanding rapport, I’ve often seen myself as a golden retriever. I get so happy and excited to see a friend that I run to them, jump on them, and smother them with enthusiasm before even checking in to see how they’re doing. This approach, while full of love and energy, can sometimes be overwhelming and not quite what the other person needs in the moment.

A memorable instance of this happened with my dear friend Dr. Oz Garcia. I eagerly approached him with my usual exuberance, only to realize he was in the middle of a session with a client. Whoops! It was a clear reminder that my energy needed to be more attuned to the situation.

This idea was beautifully expanded upon in a conversation with Fernando Valencia. He said, “Great, let’s go with your golden retriever analogy. Imagine you’re with a sad person. Sure, the overactive dog might get a half-baked smile, but what if the dog gently placed its head on that person’s lap and waited? As the person feels a little better, perhaps they might be ready to come out and play.”

This simple yet profound image stayed with me. It highlighted the power of matching energy and being present at the other person’s pace.

In a serendipitous twist, Judy Katz, a renowned writer, shared with me a manuscript of her upcoming book, Galaxy: Lessons Learned from a Canine Hero. This touching story is about a severely abused bulldog who became an extraordinary therapy dog. One of his greatest healing moments involved a deeply wounded veteran who isolated himself in a dark room. The bulldog, sensing the veteran’s pain, didn’t nudge or seek attention. Instead, he just placed his head on the veteran’s lap, patiently waiting. Over time, this gentle presence led to the veteran inviting the dog in, and eventually, it helped him heal.

This story encapsulates the essence of meeting someone at their emotional level. Sometimes, it’s about being there quietly, offering comfort through your presence, and waiting until they’re ready to engage.

Final Thoughts

The lessons from these experiences and stories show that caring alone isn’t enough. Listening alone isn’t enough. Even love, in its most exuberant form, isn’t always enough. True rapport and connection come from making the other person feel seen, felt, heard, and understood. These are four distinct aspects, each deserving deep exploration and practice.

If you’re eager to delve deeper into these nuances and learn how to build meaningful connections, I highly recommend exploring the teachings from Unblinded and keeping an eye out for Judy Katz’s upcoming book, Galaxy: Lessons Learned from a Canine Hero. When it’s released, grab a copy – and if it doesn’t move you to tears, I’ll personally refund your money.

Remember, building real rapport often means slowing down, matching their energy, and being a comforting presence. It’s a practice that, when mastered, creates magical and transformative connections.

Not Just for Men: Acknowledge, Don’t Fix

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The first step in every encounter is to acknowledge. This is a simple yet profound truth that transcends gender. Men, especially, often feel an urge to jump straight into “fixing” mode. However, everyone, regardless of gender, wants to feel seen, heard, felt, and understood.

Jumping right to solutions can make the person you are speaking to feel ignored or undervalued. They might think you didn’t really listen or that you didn’t care enough to understand their feelings. In fact, after you have acknowledged their problem, their loss, or their frustration, you can then ask for permission to help. Sometimes, people just need to be heard and will say, “I just wanted you to listen to me. Thanks for listening; I don’t want you to do anything.”

This approach is something I’ve had to learn personally. I often find myself wanting to alleviate discomfort immediately, saying things like, “I don’t want you to feel bad, suffer, or deal with that problem for one more second. Here is what you can do.” This well-intentioned rush to fix often results in a loss of rapport. Recently, a friend literally told me twice in one conversation that they just wanted me to listen, even after I explained my good intentions.

It’s a valuable lesson: Acknowledge how they feel first. This practice is essential for building and maintaining strong relationships. Remember, this principle is not just for men. Everyone can benefit from prioritizing acknowledgment over immediate problem-solving.

Key Takeaways:

  1. Listen First: Ensure the other person feels heard and understood before offering solutions.
  2. Ask Permission: After acknowledging their feelings, ask if they want your help or if they just needed to vent.
  3. Understand the Need: Recognize that sometimes people just need to be listened to and not fixed.
  4. Build Rapport: Acknowledging feelings first helps build and maintain strong, empathetic relationships.

PS If they do want your advice, dont “should” on them. Offer it up as food for thought, something they might want to consider, your opinion. Tread very carefully. I am sure countless people have regretted saying “dump them” only to find themselves losing a friend or being invited and feeling awkward at their wedding. Sometime people just need to vent.

By practicing acknowledgment first, we foster deeper connections and understanding with those around us.

I Am Guilty: I “Should” on People All the Time

| johnas9000

I am sure you are familiar with the expression “don’t ‘should’ on yourself.” However, how often do we “should” on others? Let me count the ways. When a coworker had a quadruple bypass, I had the perfect solution: Dr. Dean Ornish’s reversing heart disease program, showing how you can take 60% blockages down to zero with diet, exercise, yoga, and meditation, since most people need more bypasses in a few years. He gave it back to me and said, “No thank you. If it happens, I’ll do it again.”

Then, I tried to get my CFO to quit smoking countless times. He still smokes. I tried to get my partner to eat probiotic-rich food. The list is endless. But here is the problem: You are literally “shoulding” on them, and you know what that means.

What about politics? “You should vote for the guy or gal I know is the best. Are you crazy?” “You should” is crazier than “I should.” Wayne Dyer said it best. When he heard someone say they should have bought crypto, or whatever, he replied, “You should have bought Coca-Cola in 1910.” They’d reply they weren’t born yet, and he’d respond, “Well, you could have.”

But the point of this blog is, it’s bad enough to should or soil yourself. Stop shoulding on your friends and loved ones, or you will not have any left. First, get rapport. What’s important to them? Then ask permission. If permission is denied, you have to be okay with their decision, even if it seems crazy to you. And I know, of course, it’s crazy not to be concerned about your health. But you only get to make your choices. I know, God should have made you in charge of other people’s choices too, right? He or she should have done that.

If you don’t stop shoulding, the pile of “should” is going to be so high, you are not going to be able to see anything, you might not even be able to breathe. And you will probably have “should” in your ears as well. Stop shoulding. Shoulding is a solo activity that is performed in the bathroom.

Takeaways:

  1. Recognize the Impact: Understand how imposing your shoulds on others can strain relationships.
  2. Seek Rapport: Build a connection and understand what’s important to others before offering advice.
  3. Ask Permission: Always ask if they are open to your suggestions.
  4. Respect Their Choices: Accept their decisions, even if they seem illogical to you.

So, let’s all stop shoulding on each other and focus on understanding and supporting one another’s choices. After all, the only person you should be in charge of is yourself.

Not Just for Men: Acknowledge, Don’t Fix

| johnas9000

The first step in every encounter is to acknowledge. This is a simple yet profound truth that transcends gender. Men, especially, often feel an urge to jump straight into “fixing” mode. However, everyone, regardless of gender, wants to feel seen, heard, felt, and understood.

Jumping right to solutions can make the person you are speaking to feel ignored or undervalued. They might think you didn’t really listen or that you didn’t care enough to understand their feelings. In fact, after you have acknowledged their problem, their loss, or their frustration, you can then ask for permission to help. Sometimes, people just need to be heard and will say, “I just wanted you to listen to me. Thanks for listening; I don’t want you to do anything.”

This approach is something I’ve had to learn personally. I often find myself wanting to alleviate discomfort immediately, saying things like, “I don’t want you to feel bad, suffer, or deal with that problem for one more second. Here is what you can do.” This well-intentioned rush to fix often results in a loss of rapport. Recently, a friend literally told me twice in one conversation that they just wanted me to listen, even after I explained my good intentions.

It’s a valuable lesson: Acknowledge how they feel first. This practice is essential for building and maintaining strong relationships. Remember, this principle is not just for men. Everyone can benefit from prioritizing acknowledgment over immediate problem-solving.

Key Takeaways:

  1. Listen First: Ensure the other person feels heard and understood before offering solutions.
  2. Ask Permission: After acknowledging their feelings, ask if they want your help or if they just needed to vent.
  3. Understand the Need: Recognize that sometimes people just need to be listened to and not fixed.
  4. Build Rapport: Acknowledging feelings first helps build and maintain strong, empathetic relationships.

By practicing acknowledgment first, we foster deeper connections and understanding with those around us.

Match Plus Match Minus Matching Energy: An Invaluable Lesson in Building and Breaking Rapport

| johnas9000

Yet another nuance. But dont fret the quality of your life IS the quality of your communication, with yourself and with others. Regardless of what is going on in your life. If you doubt that read Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl written about his time in a concentration camp and the lessons he learned.

During a call with Unblinded, I learned an invaluable lesson from Michael Smikun about the importance of matching energy before engaging in a conversation. This concept, while seemingly simple, holds profound implications for how we connect with others and manage our interactions effectively. Michael’s insights can be distilled into two key approaches:

1. Match Plus: When someone is upset or angry, meeting them with a higher energy can help disrupt their negative state. This doesn’t mean matching their anger with more anger, but rather using a burst of energy to break through their emotional barrier. Once you’ve gotten their attention, you can immediately drop to a more loving, calming energy to help soothe and guide them to a more positive state.

2. Match Minus: If someone is feeling sad or down, approaching them with a gentler, lower energy can provide the comfort and safety they need. This involves not just a softer tone of voice but also physical cues that show empathy and care. For instance, you might lower yourself to their level, speak in a calm and reassuring voice, and even place a hand over your heart to signal genuine concern and presence.

3. Another way to break rapport, when necessary, to move past a situation is humor. When my wife was so angry with me she didnt want to talk, she asked “Did you read Men are from Mars Women are from Venus?” I said yes In case you didnt sometimes men need to be left alone in their cave, and she has a lot of certainty and male energy. She is a surgeon. She followed up by saying. “I am going into my cave now and you are following me” I countered. “So do you want a blow job?” She couldnt help herself and laughed out loud, and of course immediately stopped herself because she was still angray. But it certainly was the first step to healing and a temporary break in anger. Fun energy is a great way to break up tension. Nobody told me to offer sexual favors, 🙂 to be clear.

The Complexity of Rapport

Understanding and applying these approaches is actually a big deal. It adds a significant layer to building and maintaining rapport, and even knowing when to break it if necessary. It’s about more than just words; it’s about aligning your entire presence to the emotional state of the other person.

When someone is sad, for example, you need to genuinely come from your heart. Physically lowering yourself to their level can make you appear less threatening, and speaking in a softer, lower tone can make them feel safe. Michael demonstrated this by placing his hand over his heart—a powerful non-verbal signal of empathy and compassion. As we know, up to 90% of our communication is non-verbal, and these subtle cues are crucial in creating a sense of security and understanding.

Conversely, there are times when breaking rapport is necessary, especially if someone is out of control. Whether in a personal situation or a courtroom, abruptly raising your voice louder than theirs can serve to interrupt their state. Once you’ve captured their attention, you can immediately drop to a more appropriate, calmer energy. This might involve a quick shout followed by an immediate transition to a softer, more loving tone, physically lowering yourself, and expressing your care and concern.

Practicing and Mastering Rapport

The nuances of building and using rapport are complex and often require practice to master. It’s more than just talking; it’s about how your entire being communicates safety, understanding, and care.

As I mentioned in my previous post, love, caring, acts of service, and nurturing are essential, but they may not be enough if your communication is causing the other person to hear something different from what you intend. Miscommunication is a common issue that can lead to feelings of disconnect and misunderstanding, which is why so many relationships and marriages struggle. How often have you heard people say, “We didn’t get along,” “We couldn’t understand each other,” “He or she didn’t understand me,” or “They didn’t give me what I needed”?

Clearly, the certainty that you were going to be together for life was there when you first committed to each other. So, what changed? It’s rarely just about the other person being a “jerk” or inherently bad. It often comes down to communication and the subtle dynamics of how we connect—or fail to connect—through our words and actions.

Giving Credit Where It’s Due

I have often given attribution and added my own thoughts in my posts. However, in this case, I assign 100% credit to Michael Smikun for these insights. I only hope I have articulated his teachings correctly, and I apologize if I haven’t captured them perfectly. If you want to learn directly from the source and explore countless other daily lessons, I highly recommend Unblinded for daily practice and business acceleration. The quality of our business is also deeply dependent upon our ability to communicate effectively.

I’m still learning extraordinary lessons, many months into this training. The last few posts are just small examples of what I’ve been absorbing. The total amount of information and training is extraordinary. And if you’ve undergone various other trainings, putting it all together with additional distinctions is priceless. However, this requires getting past what you think you already know and your desire to believe you’ve mastered it all. This week, with all the distinctions on rapport, I keep saying to myself, “WTF? I learned matching and mirroring with Anthony Robbins 40 years ago.” It might as well have been a foreign language.

Final Thoughts

Our communication is everything. It’s the foundation upon which relationships are built and maintained. Understanding the importance of matching energy and mastering the nuances of rapport can transform how we interact with others and nurture our relationships.

Whether it’s through matching and mirroring or understanding when to break rapport to reset a situation, these skills are crucial for deeper, more meaningful connections. If we can learn to see, feel, hear, and understand each other truly, we can bridge gaps and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

*If you want it straight from the source as well as countless other daily lessons, I do recommend Unblinded for daily practice and business acceleration. Because the quality of our business is also dependent upon our ability to communicate. I am still learning extraordinary lessons, many months into this training. The last few posts are small example of it. The total amount of information and training is extraordinary. And if you have done a multitude of other trainings putting it all together with additional distinctions is priceless. IF YOU CAN GET PAST what you already know and your desire to think you already know this. This week with all the distinctions on rapport, I keep saying in my head “WTF? I learned matching and mirroring with Anthony Robbins 40 years ago.” It might as well have been a foreign language. I dont want to call it a cheap trick, thats for you to decide. But lets put it this way small physical mirroring whether is our posture tone of voice or repeating certain words is nothing compared to “this” By the way the other person knows when you dont care. How many customer service calls have you been on when the customer service person said “I understand how you feel your concern is that your phone has dropped 100 calls today?” And you just want to be transported over the cell phone system so you can grab them by their neck and strangle them? And finally to be clear I am revealing only the tiniest of a fraction of the distinctions I have learned. So if you are happy learning everything about health happiness and beauty I have learned in my life keep reading what I write. If what I have shared that I have learned from my friends at Unblinded have taught me call me and I will arrange for you to be in touch with them get a personal complementary business acceleration call and see if it makes sense for you. I also hope they appreciate the spirit in which I have incorporated just a few truly life altering moments from my past 6 months or probably 200 days of daily trainings, evening sessions, 4 day seminars with them. These were just a few jewels from this week.

The Golden Retriever Approach: Another Distinction on Rapport

| johnas9000

In my journey of understanding rapport, I’ve often seen myself as a golden retriever. I get so happy and excited to see a friend that I run to them, jump on them, and smother them with enthusiasm before even checking in to see how they’re doing. This approach, while full of love and energy, can sometimes be overwhelming and not quite what the other person needs in the moment.

A memorable instance of this happened with my dear friend Dr. Oz Garcia. I eagerly approached him with my usual exuberance, only to realize he was in the middle of a session with a client. Whoops! It was a clear reminder that my energy needed to be more attuned to the situation.

This idea was beautifully expanded upon in a conversation with Fernando Valencia. He said, “Great, let’s go with your golden retriever analogy. Imagine you’re with a sad person. Sure, the overactive dog might get a half-baked smile, but what if the dog gently placed its head on that person’s lap and waited? As the person feels a little better, perhaps they might be ready to come out and play.”

This simple yet profound image stayed with me. It highlighted the power of matching energy and being present at the other person’s pace.

In a serendipitous twist, Judy Katz, a renowned writer, shared with me a manuscript of her upcoming book, Galaxy: Lessons Learned from a Canine Hero. This touching story is about a severely abused bulldog who became an extraordinary therapy dog. One of his greatest healing moments involved a deeply wounded veteran who isolated himself in a dark room. The bulldog, sensing the veteran’s pain, didn’t nudge or seek attention. Instead, he just placed his head on the veteran’s lap, patiently waiting. Over time, this gentle presence led to the veteran inviting the dog in, and eventually, it helped him heal.

This story encapsulates the essence of meeting someone at their emotional level. Sometimes, it’s about being there quietly, offering comfort through your presence, and waiting until they’re ready to engage.

Final Thoughts

The lessons from these experiences and stories show that caring alone isn’t enough. Listening alone isn’t enough. Even love, in its most exuberant form, isn’t always enough. True rapport and connection come from making the other person feel seen, felt, heard, and understood. These are four distinct aspects, each deserving deep exploration and practice.

If you’re eager to delve deeper into these nuances and learn how to build meaningful connections, I highly recommend exploring the teachings from Unblinded and keeping an eye out for Judy Katz’s upcoming book, Galaxy: Lessons Learned from a Canine Hero. When it’s released, grab a copy – and if it doesn’t move you to tears, I’ll personally refund your money.

Remember, building real rapport often means slowing down, matching their energy, and being a comforting presence. It’s a practice that, when mastered, creates magical and transformative connections.

Real Rapport: It’s Not What You Think

| johnas9000

When we think about building rapport, the common assumption is to find similarities and share them eagerly. Imagine meeting someone and discovering that their mother was born in the same small city in Ukraine as yours. You’d think sharing this would instantly create a connection, right? Wrong. Buzzer please! On a scale of 1 to 5, that’s a zero.

Or picture this: a new acquaintance tells you their favorite sport is basketball. You jump in to share that baseball is yours, thinking it’s a great way to bond over sports. Buzzer again! Still level zero.

Why doesn’t this work?

Here’s the insight that flips the script on what real rapport is. I have to give 100% credit to Sean Callagy, the leader of Unblinded, for this profound understanding. During a conversation with a young lady who cherished watching the Yankees with her father and family, Sean didn’t just wait for his turn to speak or share his own baseball stories. Instead, he listened deeply. He recognized the emotional weight of her relationship with her father and how it colored her love for the Yankees. He listened so intently and empathically that he had to stop himself to avoid bringing her to tears. That’s a level 5 connection.

The key to real rapport isn’t in sharing our stories. It’s in deeply understanding and acknowledging theirs.

Think about it. How many times have you shared something that felt 110% relevant to the conversation, only to have the other person say, “I forgot what I was going to say”? What does that tell you? It suggests that while you were focused on your relevant contribution, they were waiting to share something important to them. They weren’t heard. They weren’t seen.

Earlier in the day on a morning call, Michael Smikun, another leader at Unblinded, explained the concept of “acknowledgement.” I realized its significance when I tried to help a friend transition out of grief without first acknowledging their pain. I had the right intention – I didn’t want them to suffer – but I missed the mark. They thought I didn’t care because I skipped over acknowledging their grief. My focus was on easing their suffering, but without recognition of their current state, it felt dismissive.

Real rapport is about more than matching and mirroring. It’s about being fully present and deeply acknowledging the other person’s experience.

This isn’t something new. I learned the basics of matching and mirroring 40 years ago with Anthony Robbins. But what I’m talking about here goes far beyond that. It’s not just about reflecting back behaviors or words. It’s about tuning into the emotional and relational frequencies of the people you engage with.

To truly connect, we must go beyond superficial similarities and dive into genuine understanding.

This takes practice and a lot of patience. It’s about listening not just with our ears, but with our hearts. It’s about being of true service and support to those we love. And when we master this, the connections we build are richer, more meaningful, and profoundly impactful.

So next time you find yourself in a conversation, resist the urge to share your own stories right away. Instead, listen deeply, acknowledge fully, and let the connection naturally deepen. That’s real rapport.

Final Thoughts

The insights shared here are inspired by the wisdom and teachings of Sean Callagy and Michael Smikun from Unblinded. Their guidance has profoundly reshaped my understanding of building meaningful connections. I would be remiss not to mention Fernando Valencia, who brings yet another nuance of rapport, which I will delve into in my next post. If you’re ready to take your relationships to the next level, start by practicing deep, empathetic listening. And remember, true connection lies in the heart of genuine understanding.

Enter at Their Speed Limit

| johnas9000

In the bustling world we live in, where interactions are constant and varied, there’s a subtle art to connecting with others that can significantly enhance our communication. This art is known as matching and mirroring, a concept rooted in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). Today, I want to dive into this fascinating technique and explore how matching or matching minus the energy of the person you’re speaking to can transform your conversations.

The Essence of Matching and Mirroring

At its core, matching and mirroring involves adopting aspects of another person’s behavior, speech, or body language to build rapport and create a sense of harmony. It’s a natural process we often do unconsciously with people we feel comfortable with. By consciously applying this technique, we can enhance our ability to connect with others, making our interactions more fluid and effective.

Imagine you’re speaking with someone who is very calm and soft-spoken. If you approach them with high energy and a loud voice, it might create a disconnect, making the conversation feel awkward or even overwhelming. Instead, by matching their calm demeanor, you can create a sense of comfort and understanding. This is entering at their speed limit.

The Power of Matching Minus

Sometimes, it’s not about fully mirroring the other person but slightly dialing back your energy to match theirs. This technique, often referred to as “matching minus,” involves subtly aligning with their pace and tone without completely mimicking them. It’s a delicate balance that shows empathy and respect for their state of being while still maintaining your own unique presence.

For example, if someone is expressing sadness or frustration, you don’t need to mirror their emotions exactly. Instead, you can match minus by adopting a more subdued tone and calm body language. This approach acknowledges their feelings and creates a safe space for them to open up, without amplifying their emotional state.

Practical Applications in Everyday Life

Whether you’re in a professional setting, such as our aesthetic doctor’s office at Precision Aesthetics, where we go to great lengths to ensure everyone’s comfort and privacy, or interacting with friends and family, mastering the art of matching and mirroring can have profound benefits. Here are a few practical tips to get started:

  1. Observe and Listen: Pay attention to the other person’s body language, tone of voice, and speech patterns. This observation is the first step in effectively matching their energy.
  2. Subtle Adjustments: Make small adjustments to your own behavior. If they’re speaking slowly, slow down your own speech. If they’re using specific gestures, incorporate similar ones naturally into your conversation.
  3. Practice Empathy: Show genuine interest and empathy in your interactions. People can sense when you’re truly engaged and respectful of their emotional state.
  4. Stay Authentic: While it’s important to match and mirror, it’s equally crucial to remain authentic. The goal is to create rapport, not to mimic or lose your own identity.

Conclusion

“Enter at Their Speed Limit” is more than just a technique; it’s a mindset of empathy, respect, and connection. By consciously matching or matching minus the energy of those we interact with, we can create more meaningful and effective communication. In a world that often feels rushed and disconnected, this simple yet powerful approach can make all the difference. Let’s embrace this art and enhance our relationships, one conversation at a time.

Remember, the next time you engage with someone, consider their speed limit. Adjust your approach, and watch as your connections deepen and flourish.

Feel free to share your thoughts or experiences with matching and mirroring in the comments below. Let’s continue the conversation and learn from each other.

With warmth and respect, John

Be Real Dont be like ChatGPT & Sound like a Posh Ahole (plus how to give complements)

| johnas9000

Ever notice when you ask chatgpt to write something it sounds like a posh ass hole? No one uses the adjectives it uses or the formal tone it uses. Its not friendly. Its not inviting. It doesnt create rapport. It doesnt sound like a business you would be comfortable with. So I went right to the source and asked chatgpt why it does that. Here is what ensued.

ME. why do you write like a posh person

ChatGPT

As an AI language model, I don’t intentionally write like a posh person or any particular style. My responses are generated based on patterns and structures learned from the text data I’ve been trained on, which includes a wide variety of writing styles, including formal and informal language. If my responses come across as posh or formal at times, it’s likely because those patterns are present in the data I’ve been trained on or because the context of the conversation may call for a more formal tone. However, I can adapt my style based on the preferences of the user or the context of the conversation. Please feel free to let me know if you’d prefer a different tone or style!

ME rewrite that answer as a normal human being with a 2000 vocabulary

ChatGPT

I don’t purposely try to sound posh or formal when I write. My responses come from learning patterns in text, which include all sorts of writing styles, from casual to formal. If I sound posh sometimes, it’s likely because that’s how some of the data I’ve learned from is written or because the conversation seems to call for a more formal tone. But I can adjust how I write based on what you prefer or what fits the conversation. Just let me know if you want me to change it up!

ME rewrite that like you are from the Bronx

ChatGPT

Yo, I ain’t trying to sound all fancy or anything when I write. My responses come from soaking up all kinds of text, from chill to uptight. So if I come off a bit posh sometimes, it’s probably ’cause that’s how some of the stuff I learned from goes down, or ’cause the convo seems to be on that vibe. But yo, I can switch it up if you want. Just say the word!

ME Ok slightly less bronx. Just more informalChatGPT

Hey, I don’t mean to come off all fancy when I write. My responses are just based on everything I’ve soaked up from different types of writing. So if I sound a bit posh sometimes, it’s probably ’cause that’s what I’ve been exposed to, or maybe ’cause the convo feels like it needs a bit of formality. But hey, I can totally change it up if you want. Just give me a heads-up!

ME can you rewrite that like me

ChatGPT

Sure thing! Here’s a rewrite of your request:

Hey, I don’t mean to sound all fancy when I write. My responses are just based on everything I’ve picked up from different kinds of writing. So if I come off a bit posh sometimes, it’s probably because that’s what I’ve been exposed to, or maybe because the conversation feels like it needs a touch of formality. But hey, I can totally switch it up if you want. Just give me a shout!

Wow! Isnt that guy the best writer of all? Oh its me, surprise. It actually did capture the way I speak and or write. I write the way I speak. Why wouldnt you? Why not make people feel like you are speaking to them? Isnt that the whole point of writing something? Not to flatter yourself but to make the reader feel like you are speaking to them.

Maybe I should just write it myself. It seems like we all have our own “tone” way of speaking. MIne is unmistakeable. As I am currently in a new training at Unblinded. Everyone knows when its John speaking its going to be brutally honest. I love the way that I speak. Its refreshing in today’s world. No I dont say things that will cause me and my business get cancelled.

But there is “honesty” that makes everyone feel good. Everyone knows that if I give a complement it is real. I will find exactly what I like. I would never say “I want to acknowledge you.” I would more likely say “that was friggin amazing” or “I loved the way you presented that” or “your tone was perfect” or “it was truly amazing how you managed to speak and explain it in a way anyone could understand and also explained the technical in a way that anyone could understand”. If you cant identify what you are complementing. DONT

I would never say “you look great today”. I might say “that color looks great on you.” You have to notice WHY. It is essential for an honest complement. Is it the length of the skirt, the angles that flatter that person. Something prompted you to complement someone whether it was business or personal. Dont be lazy ask yourself exactly what it was and then articulate it.

PS I do have one example of obviously a very real complement that worked on me as a pick up line back in the nineties. It was by a woman for her friend that was a bit comical. She said “we were just admiring you and the way you were confidently standing with the light shining off you head” LOL I said you need to work on your pick up lines. (I was shaving my head at the time). She continued to say not for me but my friend.

Well it worked anyway. The next week we were on our way to Caso DeCampo on a G5 ( private plane) to stay in a villa that rented for $100,000 a week that they owned with 10 servants cooks etc. Her husband owned Monster.com A big deal back then. She was picking me up for her friend.

So dont be posh. Speak like a human being. How about speaking like yourself? Everyone has innate genius within. I now have 3 great lines worth framing, that everyone loves, from my new great friend, and, dare I say mentor? Fernando of Unblinded.

1 I am never stressed when I am doing only when I am thinking of what to do

2 We spend more time avoiding than doing

3 The only way to stay stuck is to stay still

He might need his own page soon

Apologies because in typical John style I seemed to have segued and gone all ADD on you as I expressed a few ideas to ruminate upon. I got in one posh word. I had to look it up. It seems I used it correctly. So lets recap.

I started with beware of chatgpt not sounding human. Dont be posh, be relatable. Give real complements that you can explain in real words. Dont give posh complements. PS I am not mismatching. I am acknowledging the value of acknowledging. I am merely suggesting that you make it real by identifying exactly what you are acknowledging in your “own voice” so that the people that know you can really take it in. They know exactly how you sound when you sincerely mean something. PS sometimes I cant help myself. There are no adjectives Sometimes someone does something so fukin awesome there are simply no other words to describe it. And every human being has genius within. Identify your own genius and let him or her to come out and play and express themselves. And a little wisdom from Fernando to make every day productive.

PS If you didnt like my style of writing, you would have been gone a long time ago. I am writing like I am speaking to you. I hope you actually find a wide variety of advice in my style of communicating. Funny my wife keeps asking me how, when and or why I changed the subject and how one thing had anything to do with the other. She is very focused. She has to be she is a surgeon. But guess what I have the cure for “speaking to everyone, even those whose styles are different than yours. Just dont speak, listen. Perfect rapport comes from listening. Oops there I go again. I better stop now.