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Stop with the Insane Humility: If You Don’t, Someone Else Will

| johnas9000

Have you ever held back from promoting your services, thinking it was more “humble” or “charitable” to stay quiet and let people come to their own conclusions? If so, let’s get real: if you truly have something valuable to offer, then it’s not just a disservice to yourself but to your potential clients to let “humility” keep you silent. Being present to the fact that your services could genuinely help people means understanding that holding back might just lead them straight to someone else who isn’t as skilled, honest, or fair.

For those of us who consider ourselves good, ethical professionals, we need to recognize that humility, when taken to an extreme, can actually harm the very people we hope to help. Think about it—how many verses in the Bible or other spiritual texts talk about humility? But in the name of humility, is it charitable to let someone get ripped off or harmed by a competitor offering subpar services? I’m not talking to the crooks here—they’re already out there, using every tactic imaginable to lure clients. I’m speaking to the good, honest providers.

Here’s a case in point from my own industry. Many don’t realize that repeated use of fillers over several years can cause scars and lumpy textures, as some filler remains in the face indefinitely. Even a skilled injector may struggle with the lasting effects of these fillers, leading to puffiness or unnatural looks over time. It’s our responsibility to advocate for more natural, longer-lasting options, like collagen restoration or muscle rejuvenation, especially if these options lead to a more natural, sustainable look. In my quest to be humble, I wasn’t vocal enough about encouraging clients to choose these alternatives—and I’ve seen clients suffer the consequences.

And this applies to other fields, too. A veterinarian friend of mine shared a story that underscores the same point. He charges $3,000 for surgeries that some “surgical centers” charge $10,000 for. Here’s the twist: he has over 30,000 surgeries under his belt, while the high-priced “center” might hand the job to someone with just a week’s worth of experience. Imagine the heartbreak of a pet owner paying top dollar, only to lose their beloved animal because they were led to believe they’d receive superior care at a higher price. All because my friend, out of humility, didn’t promote his skill and fair pricing enough.

So if you’re someone who provides an exceptional service at a fair price, don’t hide it. If you don’t believe it, raise your service level, lower your costs if you can, and shout it from the rooftops. You’re not just helping yourself by getting more clients—you’re helping people avoid overpaying or getting subpar services elsewhere. Humility has its place, but when it stands in the way of helping people make informed, beneficial choices, it’s time to let go of it and let your voice be heard.

It’s your obligation to stand out.

PS t can feel counterintuitive, especially if humility has been woven into you from a young age, reinforced by family, church, or cultural beliefs. But remember, by holding back, you may unintentionally let others fall into less capable hands or even into predatory ones.

It’s worth affirming every day: “I know I’m offering the best service, so I need to convey that clearly to my prospective clients. It’s the right thing to do.” This self-reminder helps reframe the idea of self-promotion from something “obnoxious” to a responsibility you hold out of genuine care. Sharing the true value of what you offer isn’t about bragging—it’s about ensuring those who need you find the best path forward. You’re doing them a favor.

The Paradox of False Humility, Narcissism, and Hidden Talents

| johnas9000

In today’s world, we often witness a curious paradox. Some individuals with minimal contributions proudly declare their greatness, while others, endowed with remarkable gifts, hesitate to share them, fearing they might overshadow the divine or seem boastful. This paradox raises profound questions about humility, narcissism, and our responsibility to use our talents for the greater good.

False Humility: A Mask for Inaction

False humility often disguises itself as modesty, but in reality, it can be a barrier to action. When we downplay our abilities, attributing them entirely to external factors or divine intervention, we might believe we are being humble. However, this mindset can prevent us from acknowledging our unique contributions and taking ownership of our actions.

Key Points:

  1. Underestimating Self-Worth: People with false humility often downplay their achievements, believing they are unworthy or incapable of making a significant impact.
  2. Fear of Arrogance: The fear of being perceived as arrogant can lead to inaction. By not sharing our gifts, we miss opportunities to inspire and help others.
  3. Divine Credit: While it is essential to recognize a higher power in our lives, we must also acknowledge that our talents are given to us to be used, not hidden.

Narcissism: The Empty Vessel

On the other end of the spectrum lies narcissism, where individuals with little to offer loudly proclaim their superiority. This behavior stems from a need for validation and attention, often masking deep-seated insecurities.

Key Points:

  1. Self-Promotion: Narcissists are skilled at promoting themselves, regardless of their actual contributions. This behavior can be misleading and create a false sense of competence.
  2. Insecurity: Underneath the bravado, narcissists often struggle with feelings of inadequacy, seeking external validation to fill an internal void.
  3. Impact on Others: This behavior can demotivate genuinely talented individuals, leading them to question their own abilities.

Hiding Behind Inaction: A Lost Opportunity

Many people with extraordinary talents hesitate to share them, believing they are not giving credit to God or fearing they might appear boastful. However, this inaction can deprive the world of their unique contributions and potential impact.

Key Points:

  1. Misperception of Humility: True humility involves recognizing our talents as gifts and using them to serve others, rather than hiding them out of fear.
  2. Responsibility to Share: If we believe our talents are divinely bestowed, it becomes our responsibility to use them for the greater good.
  3. Helping Others: By sharing our gifts, we can inspire, uplift, and help others in ways we might never anticipate.

Finding the Balance

Balancing humility, self-recognition, and action is key to making a positive impact. Here are some ways to find that balance:

  1. Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on your abilities and contributions. Recognize your strengths and areas for growth without diminishing your self-worth.
  2. Gratitude and Acknowledgment: Acknowledge your talents as gifts, and express gratitude for them. Understand that using these gifts is a way of honoring their source.
  3. Purposeful Action: Use your talents with the intention of serving others. Focus on the impact you can make rather than the recognition you might receive.

Conclusion

Navigating the complex interplay between false humility, narcissism, and our responsibility to use our talents is challenging but essential. By understanding these dynamics, we can better appreciate our gifts, use them purposefully, and inspire others to do the same. In doing so, we honor both our abilities and the source from which they come, making a meaningful difference in the world.

Why are the biggest sinners at church?

| johnas9000

Happy Easter to those who celebrate. I just posted this on Facebook.
“What if we could choose who we are when we are reborn? Today, as we celebrate the season of renewal, let’s embrace the power of personal transformation. May you find joy in shaping your destiny and discovering the boundless possibilities you choose today and every day. You are reborn every day. You can release all the worries, problems, fears, and negativity and embrace joy, gratitude, giving, and sharing. Happy spring, and may your choices lead you to a life filled with abundance and fulfillment. Happy Easter to those who celebrate and observe. Although we all must share faith and the positive possibilities of what this day represents no matter your faith.”
I turned on the TV and heard someone preaching. Within a few minutes, he said that your sins have been forgiven. Then he said your future sins are forgiven. Then he said your past sins are forgiven. Then he said, all of your sins were forgiven thousands of years ago.
No wonder why I have seen the worst people at church. When I was a little boy 60 years ago, I noticed that of the few divorces in our parish, those men were all deacons or some other notable position in the church. Today, I hear my friends tell me about all kinds of evil people who were either attempting to have an extramarital affair with them or were trying to cheat them or their families financially.
It is apparent to me that since I don’t attend church, I don’t get a “get out of guilt jail” free card. I am not even close to perfect. But I don’t think I have ever lied to anyone. In fact, I am constantly accused of being brutally honest. I also would suspect that if I cheated on someone, I would carry that guilt to my grave. And I don’t have room to carry that much guilt.
Isn’t that better than thinking you can go to church and be instantly absolved? Or, at worst, say a few hail Marys?
I am not dissing religion. But it seems to me that everyone is taking bits and pieces and using them to get away with “murder” or, at the very least, cheating and lying.
Even if you want to believe 100% in god and that Jesus died for our sins, it is not a get-out-of-jail-free card to be an asshole. It seems like people are using religion, or more correctly perverting religion, to allow their worst behaviors to be OK, actually to be instantly forgiven.
There is something very wrong with that attitude. Personal responsibility comes first. Yes, we have all sinned and will probably sin some more before we die. But don’t use it as an excuse to do stuff you know is terrible.
I was recently speaking to a friend who was speaking to some high-level TM master. He had the nerve to tell her that she wasn’t evolved while he ( a married man) was hitting on her. Worse yet, he admitted he had cheated at least four times. By the way, you know that probably means 28 times. The law of 7 states that whatever they admit to, multiply by 7. I only have one drink a day. I only cheated once, etc.
It’s deplorable. I truly pray and hope that this Easter, the world will evolve to a better place. There is way too much crime, war, and awful people doing awful things.
Please ensure that repeat sinners are taught a lesson, not just forgiven. Repeat criminals need to be kept in jail or some other way to protect the innocent people they kill. Repeat financial criminals need to be put in prison and stopped from stealing, and repeat emotional killers need to be kept away from good people.