psychology

Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail — and How to Do It Right

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It’s New Year’s. What’s the easiest thing you can do? Let’s start there.

Take vitamin C and vitamin D3.
Vitamin D3 probably does more for your immune system, but vitamin C has the added benefit of helping your body make collagen. So make that a habit. How hard is that?

Then start small with movement.
Do a few push-ups. I don’t care how many. Touch your toes a few times. Just get in motion and build on it.

This is basic physics. Isaac Newton: an object in motion stays in motion.
So get in motion. Start something. Then incrementally build on it.

Where people fail is going for the big enchilada all at once.
“Zero to five miles a day.”
You don’t make it. And worse—you lose confidence because you didn’t do what you said you’d do.

What does work is incremental progress.

When I first started jogging, it was literally:
Can I make it to the first telephone pole?
Then the second.
Then two poles and a mailbox.
Then two blocks.
Then half a mile.
Then a mile.
Eventually, five miles a day.

It worked because it was incremental.

That’s my recommendation: incremental progress.
You’ll feel good. You’ll be proud of yourself. And you’ll actually succeed.

This goes against most advice. People say, “Shoot for the moon.”
I say, let’s go with physics and reality. Start small and build.

If the worst thing that happens is you do 10 push-ups a day for the rest of your life, that’s not a bad outcome.

P.S. I had to start all over again not that long ago. I couldn’t do a single push-up. Now I’m up to 50.

Incremental progress.
Let’s do New Year’s right.

Listen Like Oprah. Talk Like Obama.

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Oprah could make anyone feel heard.
Not just “heard,” but felt. Understood. Seen. That skill earned her a billion dollars.

Obama? He spoke with such resonance clarity and rhythm, That skill earned him the Presidency.

You dont have to agree with either of them. You dont even have to like them. But when it comes to creating relationships individually or even the world. They embody the greatest in speaking and listening and thats what you do every day with everyone.

That’s it. That’s the blog.
If you take the ball and run with it—if you really get it—
Your life will change.
Your relationships will deepen.
You can stop reading now.

Still here?

Good. Then let’s go deeper.

The First Skill: Listen Like Oprah

Deep listening isn’t a cute communication trick. It’s a superpower.
To listen like Oprah means dropping the voices in your head.
Yes, those voices:
– The voice preparing your response.
– The voice judging what they’re saying.
– The voice itching to say, “Me too!”

Thoughts will pop up. That’s normal.
But true listening means having the discipline to let those thoughts go and return—again and again—to the person in front of you.

Because here’s the truth:
No matter how profound your story or how helpful your insight might be,
it can wait.
Bite your tongue.
Stay with them.

If you’re truly present, something magical happens:
They go deeper.
They open up.
They feel your presence—and they want to stay there.

The Second Skill: Talk Like Obama

Obama didn’t rush.
He didn’t try to cram in every thought at once.
He gave you space—space to feel, space to digest what he was saying.

That’s how you speak so people remember.

We live in a world where speed is mistaken for clarity.
But slowness is power.

If you want to be heard: slow down.
If you want your words to land: pause.
If you want to connect: let your voice breathe.

This is the paradox of real communication:
We talk fast to be heard… and end up ignored.
We interrupt to connect… and end up pushing people away.

The Real Secret? It’s Not About You.

The moment you drop the need to be impressive,
The moment you stop trying to sound smart, or be right, or fix something,
You start to connect.

When someone speaks to you, listen not just for the words—
Listen for what’s not said.
The tone.
The hesitations.
The body language.

Then ask about that.

“I noticed your tone shifted when you talked about your daughter. What’s going on there?”

That’s the kind of listening people never forget.
That’s the kind of question that opens hearts.
That’s where the real stuff lives.

Final Thought

This isn’t a gimmick.
This is a way of being.

Listen like Oprah. Talk like Obama.
And watch your world change.

Are you a fair or foul weather friend?

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I’ve thought a lot about what it really means to be there for someone. When someone wins the lottery, you can bet their phone is ringing off the hook with congratulatory calls—they probably don’t need another call at that moment. Even when they hit a big milestone in their business, sometimes the calls come from people angling for a benefit rather than celebrating the success. I even remember times out in the Hamptons when one of my friends was spending far too much time with someone I found utterly distasteful. I suggested we mingle and speak to others, only to hear conversations fixated on that person’s money or royal title. My response, which probably won’t surprise anyone who knows me, was, “Who cares? He is a dick.” So much for that fair weather attitude—or as I sometimes call it, “sucking up.”

But here’s the real point: when a friend is in a dark place—maybe they’ve lost their job, are battling an illness, or have suffered the loss of someone dear—their phone might be silent. That’s when we truly have a chance to show who we are. I aspire to be a foul weather friend—the kind who steps up when the storm hits hardest. Far too often, people shy away in those moments because they worry about not knowing what to say, or fear that a misstep in words might make things worse. But not knowing what to say just means you haven’t yet learned the art of listening. Being present isn’t about filling the silence with words; it’s about offering your full attention, genuine care, and empathy.

For me, listening means asking thoughtful questions and then quieting my own voice to truly hear what the other person is saying. It’s not about having the perfect response—it’s about showing up silently, lovingly, and without judgment. Often, simply sitting with someone in their pain speaks louder than any words ever could.

PS: I just did a little Google search on this topic and found some twisted ideas out there—some say that people who thrive on misery are jealous of success or only reach out when they need help. I’m not talking about any of that. I spent an hour reflecting on my life to analyze who my friends are and the circumstances they face. I genuinely love when my friends succeed. I also recognize that I’m most “needed when I am needed.” I have one barometer: I choose my friends based on who I emotionally connect with—I don’t count their money.

Let’s strive to be there for one another in our toughest times, Sometimes, the most important thing we can do is simply be present and listen.

The Power of Original Thinking: Embracing Mismatching for Innovation

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Original thinking often refers to the ability to generate new ideas, concepts, or perspectives that are not simply a rehash of existing thoughts or conventions. But what qualifies as original thinking, and how can we cultivate it to foster truly great ideas or innovations? One essential aspect is what is commonly called “mismatching.” This involves deliberately diverging from conventional patterns or norms, which can lead to groundbreaking discoveries and creative breakthroughs. Let’s explore what makes thinking original and why mismatching is crucial for innovation.

Qualities of Original Thinking

Novelty

  • Uniqueness: The idea or concept should be new and not something that has been widely discussed or implemented before.
  • Innovation: Bringing a fresh perspective or approach to solving a problem or viewing a situation.

Creativity

  • Imagination: Utilizing one’s imagination to create something different from the standard or expected.
  • Divergent Thinking: The ability to think in varied and unique directions, rather than following a linear path of thought.

Critical Thinking

  • Analysis: Deeply analyzing existing ideas and concepts to find gaps, inconsistencies, or areas for improvement.
  • Synthesis: Combining different ideas, perspectives, or pieces of information in new ways to generate unique conclusions or solutions.

Perspective

  • Personal Insight: Drawing from personal experiences, observations, and reflections to create ideas that reflect one’s unique viewpoint.
  • Challenging Norms: Questioning established norms and conventions to explore alternative possibilities.

Practicality

  • Application: Developing ideas that not only are new but can also be applied in practical ways to bring about change or improvement.
  • Feasibility: Considering the feasibility and potential impact of the new idea in real-world scenarios.

Mismatching: Essential for Original Thinking

Breaking Conventional Patterns

  • Questioning Assumptions: Mismatching involves questioning widely accepted assumptions and exploring alternatives that may not be immediately obvious.
  • Non-Conformity: Choosing to think or act differently from the majority can lead to unique perspectives and solutions.

Encouraging Diverse Perspectives

  • Interdisciplinary Thinking: Drawing from various fields of knowledge to create hybrid ideas that transcend traditional boundaries.
  • Cultural and Contextual Differences: Embracing diverse cultural perspectives and contextual factors to enrich the creative process.

Stimulating Innovation

  • Disruptive Thinking: Introducing ideas that challenge the status quo and have the potential to create significant change.
  • Creative Problem-Solving: Using mismatching to approach problems from unconventional angles, leading to innovative solutions.

Fostering Resilience and Adaptability

  • Embracing Failure: Understanding that not all mismatched ideas will succeed, but each attempt contributes to learning and improvement.
  • Adaptability: Being open to change and willing to pivot when new information or perspectives arise.

Enhancing Cognitive Flexibility

  • Mental Agility: Practicing mismatching helps develop the ability to switch between different modes of thinking, enhancing overall cognitive flexibility.
  • Reducing Cognitive Bias: Challenging one’s own cognitive biases by considering and integrating opposing viewpoints.

Examples of Mismatching Leading to Innovation

  • Scientific Breakthroughs: Many scientific discoveries, such as Einstein’s theory of relativity, came from questioning established norms and thinking differently about space and time.
  • Artistic Movements: Art movements like Cubism and Surrealism emerged from artists deliberately diverging from traditional artistic techniques and perspectives.
  • Technological Innovations: Companies like Apple and Tesla have succeeded by challenging conventional industry standards and creating products that redefine their markets.
  • Business Models: The sharing economy, exemplified by companies like Airbnb and Uber, mismatched traditional business models by leveraging technology to create new ways of accessing goods and services.

Conclusion

Original thinking is the lifeblood of innovation. By embracing mismatching, we challenge the status quo, encourage diverse perspectives, and stimulate groundbreaking ideas. Whether in science, art, technology, or business, the willingness to diverge from conventional patterns and explore uncharted territories can lead to profound and impactful innovations. So, let’s cultivate our creativity, question norms, and embrace the power of mismatching to drive the future of original thinking.

By fostering an environment where mismatching is encouraged, we can unlock new levels of creativity and innovation. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, a scientist, an artist, or just someone looking to think differently, remember that the path to original thinking often lies in the willingness to break away from the norm and explore the unconventional.

The statement, “You don’t have to be loved by everyone,”

| johnas9000

offers a profound insight into personal freedom and self-acceptance. It underlines the unrealistic nature of seeking universal approval and the importance of focusing on genuine connections that truly enrich our lives.

In a world often dominated by social media and a culture of comparison, it’s easy to fall into the trap of measuring self-worth through the lens of others’ approval. However, embracing the fact that not everyone has to love you can be liberating. It allows individuals to live more authentically, making decisions based on personal values and desires rather than catering to the expectations of others. This perspective fosters a healthier self-image and encourages relationships built on real affinity and mutual respect, rather than superficial approval.

The pursuit of being universally liked can be exhausting and ultimately unfulfilling. People have diverse opinions and preferences, and that’s what adds richness to human interactions. Accepting that some might not resonate with who you are or what you believe in is not a reflection of one’s worth but a natural part of human diversity.

This realization encourages a focus on the quality of relationships rather than quantity. It cultivates resilience, as one learns to face criticism or rejection without it diminishing their sense of self. Ultimately, understanding that you don’t need everyone’s love to lead a fulfilling life empowers individuals to pursue happiness on their own terms, fostering a sense of inner peace and confidence.

Why everyone seeks approval and how difficult it is to not seek it. It is sabotaging i in business. Obviously salesmen wouldnt be paid so highly if the biggest fear isnt public speaking but rejection

The human desire for approval is deeply ingrained, often rooted in our evolutionary past where social acceptance was crucial for survival. This longing for acceptance and fear of rejection can be traced back to our ancestors, who lived in small, interdependent groups where being ostracized could mean life or death. In the modern era, although the stakes are different, the psychological imprint remains. Many people still intensely crave social approval and fear rejection, which can profoundly impact personal and professional behavior.

The Psychological Basis of Seeking Approval

Psychologically, seeking approval is linked to our self-esteem and identity. People often interpret approval as a validation of their worth or ideas, which can boost their self-confidence and sense of belonging. Conversely, rejection can trigger feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. This drive for acceptance can influence many aspects of life, from personal relationships to career choices.

The Challenge of Not Seeking Approval

Choosing not to seek approval is a challenging path, primarily because it goes against these deep-seated psychological tendencies. It requires one to develop a strong sense of self that is not dependent on others’ perceptions. This involves cultivating self-awareness, self-acceptance, and the resilience to withstand criticism and rejection. It can be particularly tough in environments that constantly evaluate and judge performance, such as workplaces or social media platforms.

The Impact in Business

In business, the need for approval and fear of rejection can be both a motivating factor and a potential pitfall. On one hand, these emotions can drive individuals to perform at their best, innovate, and improve customer satisfaction. On the other hand, an excessive fear of rejection can lead to risk aversion, stress, and decision paralysis. Professionals might avoid necessary but potentially unpopular decisions, or fail to innovate due to fear of criticism.

Sales and Rejection

The role of a salesperson exemplifies the high stakes of seeking approval in a business context. Sales professionals often face rejection directly and repeatedly, which can be emotionally draining. Yet, their effectiveness and their compensation often hinge on how well they can manage and transcend this fear of rejection. The high value placed on skilled salespeople underlines the broader business challenge: navigating the delicate balance between seeking approval to drive success and becoming overly reliant on it to the detriment of personal and organizational goals.

Concluding Thoughts

While seeking approval is a natural human inclination, learning to moderate this need and handle rejection with grace is crucial for personal growth and professional success. In business, recognizing when the fear of rejection is hindering progress is vital. Cultivating a culture that encourages risk-taking and views rejection as a step towards success rather than a setback can help individuals and organizations thrive. By reframing rejection and reducing the stigma associated with it, everyone from top executives to frontline salespeople can achieve a healthier, more productive approach to their roles and responsibilities.

how about rejection and love

Rejection in the context of love and relationships can be one of the most emotionally challenging experiences. It strikes at the core of our desires for connection, belonging, and acceptance. Understanding and managing rejection in love requires both emotional resilience and an appreciation for personal growth.

The Emotional Impact of Rejection in Love

When someone experiences rejection in a romantic context—whether it’s unrequited feelings, a breakup, or even a failed marriage—the pain can be profound. This is because romantic relationships are deeply personal and involve a significant emotional investment. The rejection can trigger feelings of worthlessness, loneliness, and grief.

Psychologically, romantic rejection activates the same pathways in the brain that physical pain does. This means that the heartache of a breakup or the sting of unrequited love is not just metaphorical; it’s a tangible form of distress that can have both psychological and physiological effects.

Navigating Rejection in Love

Navigating rejection in a romantic context requires a focus on self-care and personal development. Here are a few strategies:

  1. Self-Reflection: Use the experience as an opportunity for self-reflection. Consider what the relationship and its end can teach about what you value and need in a partnership.
  2. Emotional Expression: Allow yourself to grieve and express your emotions in healthy ways. This might include talking with friends, writing in a journal, or engaging in creative activities like music or art.
  3. Building Resilience: Cultivate resilience by focusing on your strengths and achievements outside of the relationship. Engaging in activities that build self-esteem and confidence can help mitigate feelings of rejection.
  4. Seeking Support: Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or a professional therapist. Sharing your feelings can lighten your emotional load and provide you with perspectives that affirm your self-worth.
  5. Moving Forward: Eventually, focus on moving forward. Engage in new activities, meet new people, and open yourself to new experiences. While this doesn’t mean rushing into another relationship, it does mean staying open to the possibilities of life.

The Positive Aspects of Rejection in Love

While painful, rejection can also be a catalyst for personal growth. It can lead to deeper self-awareness, stronger resilience, and a better understanding of one’s needs and desires in a relationship. Learning to handle rejection with grace and maturity can also improve future relationships by encouraging clearer communication, better emotional management, and more realistic expectations.

In summary, while rejection in love is a universally difficult experience, it also offers valuable lessons and opportunities for emotional development. By approaching it with the right mindset, one can navigate through this challenging time and emerge stronger and more prepared for future connections.

You program your brain every day

| johnas9000

If you were given a computer at birth that would be your operating system for life, instead of a “brain,” and that would be the only one you would get for your whole life, how would you care for it?

How would you take care of the software? Would you allow strangers to program it? Would you allow people who hated you to program it? How would you take care of it physically? What type of fuel would you give it? Would you regularly take out the trash? .. Would you install the best programs? Would you have a virus protector? If there were any programs installed that do not serve you, would you remove them? Would you install faster software better operating systems when they become available?

Have I said anything that isn’t true about your brain? Would you install harmful software? Would you install negative software? Wouldn’t you have some helpful default programs and shortcuts?

This is easy stuff people. Easy to explain. But it might require a plethora of software to execute. There is the meditation software. The physical exercise software. The prayer software. There are surge protectors to insure the energy is clean (lousy food) Do I even need to explain how everything is the same? By the way as your computer ages is it possible to continuously update it?

If you took really good care of your computer, will the sound and the camera and the speed still work? Can you add peripheral devices to speed up your computer? Can you bring in information faster? Can it be programmed to communicate better LOL.

There are a plethora of courses on “communication,” including listening courses, NLP, the Sedona Method, and Dale Carnegie, Toastmasters, Unblinded. This could be the most straightforward blog post I wrote.

If you are running it at top speed processing power continuously will it get damaged? If you program it with bad information will you get bad results? If you find more efficient programs will it run more efficiently? If you put a huge weight on it will it get damaged? If the energy you put into it is too strong or weak will it operate properly? Would it get damaged?

You are in control of all of these choices which you make unconsciously every minute of every day of your life for that thing on top of your head that you call a brain. It cant operate efficiently until it is purged of negativity and poor programming. That might be a lot of people’s biggest obstacles. How many of us mindlessly scroll through, negative, BS, and sales pitches to make us feel bad about a physical aspect of our being or an object we dont have, or a car, home, kitchen appliance, device, or a supplement that will change your life? I could write about the 40,000 ads you see every day to give you “pain” for something that you are supposedly, “Lacking”. But the totality of the ads you see in one day would be more than my total blog, or pretty much any book ever written.

If your brain is programmed correctly and not fed negativity, the unbelievable things it can do are beyond your comprehension. Most of what you need to do is just take out the trash, and stop feeding it trash. The imaginative capabilities of your brain is beyond astonishing.

The worst brain damage is Emotional. Protect yourself

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Physical damage heals rather quickly. If its merely a head wound it might be just days or weeks. Emotional damage can take more than a lifetime to heal. Talk to anyone even in their sixties and seventies. I promise you they will still bear the scars of childhood emotional trauma and even those they allowed themselves to endure throughout their life.

You will hear stories of abusive spouses, neglectful parents, lousy boyfriends and girlfriends, business failures, lousy bosses, teachers and people who told them they were worthless. The scars last forever. Some say we are even healing from a previous lifetime.

So why do we not protect ourselves? We all wake up every morning and the first thing that happens is as our brain realizes it is now awake it begins to think. Or what you allow to pass for thinking. As a human being that has evolved on this earth for millions of years as a prey animal, you are hard wired to look out for predators. So of course the hard wired tendency is to look out for the modern day predators, the bills, the mortgage, the food and gas prices the stability of the world, safety of your children and the neighborhood. Or the same 50,000 thoughts you had yesterday.

So you have just created a mountain of stress for you brain. And you wonder why so many meditate in the morning or have a morning ritual or exercise or whatever to get out of their heads? But its really an inside job. Because you can even worry while you are running. It takes “thought discipline”. You literally have to stand guard at your brain.

Everyone reading this has done it at least once and probably a thousand times in their life. An awful thought or worry pops into your head and you just gently let it pass. If you have ever mediated you know what I am talking about. And if you are a human with a working brain of any sort, there had to be a time where you said to yourself, I will deal with this later and got on with your day.

So the point of this post is to not allow any new injuries into your brain. We can and will always work to relieve our brains of every little and big trauma we have experienced in our lives. But why in Hell or God’s name would you allow new injuries in?

Lets define new injuries. It happens every single day. Your best friend calls you and asks you if you saw the news and literally ramps you up about politics, a war, some humanitarian crisis, immigration, inflation, fuel, food prices. Take your pick. We have a ton of stuff to create negative energy about.

I am not saying we shouldnt do something. Vote your conscience, donate an extra dollar work an extra hour, but also dont forget the serenity prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I. cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

What I am saying today is do not allow additional brain damage. The worst brain damage in the world is emotional brain damage that can take a life time to heal. I sincerely believe that some is so severe it indeed may be more than a life times worth of damage.

The good news is that you can heal. Its actually almost easy. Find a method to heal or let go of your traumas and pain. But the big butt is do not allow new damage every day.

Monitor every one of the 50,000 thoughts coming into your head today. Immediately release the negative ones. Because you can not begin to release the past ones if you are merely heaping bad negative thoughts upon a foundation of bad negative thoughts and feelings.

Its like any damage. You will never get to the core so you can start repairing if if you are constantly adding damage. Or its like bailing out a ship full of negative water. If there is bad water still flowing in faster than you are bailing your ship will sink.

Start today by stopping the flow of bad thoughts ideas and feelings. Its absolutely existential to a happy existence.

Everybody wants community and they will pay big for it.

| johnas9000
ChurchSelf Help
1 Community1 Community
2 Sense of Belonging2 Sense of Belonging
3 Friends3 Friends
4 life lessons4 life lessons
5 north star for hard times5 north star for hard times
6 something to believe in6 something to believe in
7 sense of purpose7 sense of purpose
8 sense of hope for better future8 sense of hope for better future
9 charismatic leader9 charismatic leader
10 some charity10 some charity
11 leader often flawed11 leader often flawed

I was watching TV this morning and stumbled across a televangelist. It’s amazing how far we’ve come. But what sets someone like Tony Robbins apart from Jim Bakker? The answer is nothing.

Sorry if I am impugning the good that many do. But even in the good that they do, dont they all say “listen to me, I have the answers, pay me, do as I say, I am not perfect, I will teach you lessons, find peace friendship in our community, do not spread blasphemy amongst our herd or you will be expelled.” I could go on literally all day.

By the way only Osho said dont follow me if you are not following yourself you are already on the wrong path, Pure genius. He didnt even write a book because he didnt want anyone to follow. All his books are his speeches transcribed. Had to insert him because he is the only on in all of history that I know of that doesnt say “follow me”

I am not saying the others are doing bad work. In fact I know both the church and self help gurus have inspired countless monumental success stories. All I am saying is that they fullfill the same basic human needs,.

They all have their stars and their crooks. I just like honesty and transparency. I also believe most of them have a good heart and are sincerely doing their best. I still own my own brain, so I do have questions.

Blind faith has its upsides and its downsides. I made the comparison recently to house flipping or the “no money down craze”. Many who got rich had Shit For Brains. (PS guess who owns SFB inc). I noticed forty years ago the most successful were not necessarily smart they just did exactly as they were told becasue they didnt have the ability to discern.

In fact most super intelligent people are plagued by their brains. I remember thinking in my early twenties. I wish I could just be happy joining the union making $50,000 a year buying a house in Staten Island, having 2 and a half kids and a dog. Unfortunately I would rather kill myself then be that bored with life, and I almost did countless times. But I didnt succeed. So I guess we will figure out what is next in life for us all.

Sorry for the segue. The brain is too active. The point of this blog is whether you belong to a church a cult, or a self help group, we humans all want, no NEED, community, family, a sense of belonging, a map for life, and hope. There is nothing wrong with seeking it, just dont drink poisoned Kool Ade. Some Kool Ade might be the price of admission. Its too bad the leaders of the churches and self help courses are not into growth. They fear that their kingdom will be toppled if anyone tries to improve what they are doing, because that means they are no longer the sole arbiter of everything.

PS once again I am acknowledging that I learn from all of them. I love to learn. I am also smart enough to understand the way their ecosystem must operate. They can not tolerate everyone questioning them.

Can you imagine if Christianity allowed every parishioner to question everything every day? LOL

Maybe they all use religion as their model, it’s pretty obvious how to run a community of “learning” “Self help” “Self growth” or even “Salvation” “Hope” and “life skills” and “life lessons”

I guess they are all like the McDonalds LOL. McDonalds is famous for creating protocols that anyone can follow. So is religion or self help any different than McDonalds? oops on to the next blog.

To be successful, you must be like McDonald’s: replicable, unquestioning, identical. Actually, hotel chains are like that, too. You know what to expect. Meeting expectations gives people safety. We can even get into the neurology of that and how David constantly reminds us that the amygdala must feel safe.

The amygdala is really interesting must do a blog on that too.

Oops almost forgot AA. But AA is only 2 million compared to two billion in Christianity. Maybe they need to borrow more from the church. PS I learned a lot from AA as well. Serenity prayer is about every single issue in every day of your life. So is HALT. Are you hungry angry lonely or tired? I would bet if HALT was hanging in every household 99% of all arguments would never happen.

But we all need to belong to something, unless you lucky enough to have a dozen siblings and a family bigger than a football team. I wonder how large families fare psychologically? I am sure depending on their leader and rules, they are either fantastic or fantastic disasters too.

Deviant from the Norm or Pet Peeve?

| johnas9000

I dont know about you but I almost never get angry when its expected, but unexpected is another issue. How do you like it when you decide to leave late to avoid traffic and the road is completely closed and there is a three hour back up? I expect snow in the winter, but what the hell is going on today, Its late April? I guess I am just like Brad Pitt (heart throb). Or is it Larry David (angry old fart)? Or maybe I am just an anti nihilist.

The world does need order. As Brad Pitt said how can we survive when some Bozo is in the fast lane going slow? Or maybe its just survival. OK this is a big can of worms now opened can crawl in any direction. But I am OK with that, how about you? I love to “THINK” vs regurgitating the same thoughts as yesterday.

You do know that most of your thoughts, all 50,000 or 90,000, are the same as yesterday, right? So why did you even bother waking up if that was all you were going to do with today? Seriously the quality of your life is the quality of your thoughts. If your thoughts today are the same as yesterday, why did you even bother to wake up today? PS it gets worse. Not only are the thoughts the same, they are mostly negative. They actually have to be negative or you would’nt be reading this.

Sorry to repeat, but we need a basic understanding of our brain, as it relates to evolution, and being here, as a predicate to this conversation. So whether you believe in evolution, millions of years, or religion, thousands of years. You are not the first of your family line to be here.

Every one of your ancestors, maybe hundreds or thousands, needed a sweet tooth so they didnt eat poison and die, and they needed to store fat efficiently, and not waste energy ( be lazy). They also needed to worry about predators. We didnt always have guns, so you better worry all the time 24/7 about getting eaten

So we have established that you are a fat, lazy ice cream eating neurotic sitting on the couch, because you had to be. Its in your genes.

Today lets explore why you are fat, lazy, anxious and angry to boot. PS almost forgot, probably alcoholic too. Talk about getting glucose into your blood stream. Although a yo yo effect, hmm addicted anyone?

Sorry my brain is a little ADD. But so is yours. It is all wired together so every thought leads to another thought? The only difference is my brain is thinking. Your brain is jumping from one problem to another. Cant believe how much the brain actually does creative thinking when its not involved in protecting you by worrying about that animal ready to pounce on you. You do know that todays animal is not a lion, tiger or bear, its next months mortgage payment, the kid’s tuition, your boss, or if you are lucky, huge business loans, and your retirement account or lack of.

Wow what a bunch of interesting ideas to pursue. I believe I just gave myself a years worth of blogs. However lets finish this thought. As you can tell I have gotten good at not thinking of the dozens of real life challenges I could be worried, about and the expected doesnt make me angry, but I, and I am willing to bet a lot of us, get angry when people deviate from the norm or violate societal norms.

Heck Larry David’s whole persona on Curb Your Enthusiasm is based on that guy. 47 Emmy Nominations and 5 million viewers, and thats behind an HBO pay wall.

So here is my theory. Society does’nt exist without order. Seriously it is as big a threat to your life as the predator, running out of fuel (dont lose fat its the most efficient fuel) and your brain needing glucose or avoiding bitter, potentially poisons.

For me it feels like an aha moment. I know for all of you with what you think is bigger problems maybe not. I am totally vexed why I can be happy all day except for when that one asshole calls to sell me something and refuses to identify himself. I also agree with Larry David when the person on line for ice cream is trying 5 different ones. What the hell? that is a complete break down of society.

I expect murderers to murder, crooks to steal. But I dont expect District Attorneys to let them out of jail.

(the whole raison d’etre for Fox News. We might be on to something a lot bigger here. We all want society to work so we dont get killed. So when something deviates from the normal we absolutely are triggered to worry. It is existential.

Now if I can just remember that, so the next time I get a spam call selling solar and I ask three times what he is selling, just spit it out and he insists he is not selling he is offering me something great, I dont have to yell at him. Nor do I have to tell the next caller, “didnt your mother teach you manners? You are supposed to identify yourself when you call another person, or are you merely a bastard”. Hey Larry David, your protege is waiting, or is it Brad?

But seriously what do you think? I am going to start welcoming and publishing comments. We have a lot to think about. And I seriously wonder if others think or should I say feel, the same.

I think its wired into survival there must be some order and asking for 7 samples at the ice cream counter or driving slow in the fast lane will surely kill us. OK maybe not the ice cream samples. But if you have ever driven on the no speed limit autobahns in Europe, driving slow in the fast lane will kill you.

Google it. To this day people drive on the average 150 mph on the autobahn. I remember driving there when I was 17 and just wished when I got home that the asshole in the left lane here driving 49 miles an hour tried that shit in Germany and experienced the near death experience of someone coming up his butt at 150mph or more, and just maybe was able to slow down without killing him or her. Maybe they would think twice about self righteously sitting in the left lane even at 59 mph thinking they are the traffic cop of the word.

Life needs order and meaning it is not Nihilistic. In fact I prefer flow.

Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi takes on the problem of how to live a happier life. A meaningful life is one where the person spends his time in a state of optimal experience called Flow. To live a great life, all your goals must be unified in a way that produces the maximum amount of flow.

Flow doesnt happen when people deviate from the norms or sit and shit in the left lane of your life while you are trying to finally get in the flow and enjoy your life.