I segued here from my post on lying. I go to the extreme even in sales situations. I tell the person trying to sell me something “I am going to make both of our lives easier, I will tell you which technologies I have, which ones I dont have how much money I have to spend. I am going to be completely transparent with you. This way even you will know if its a fit. If it is, I should have bought it yesterday. If it isnt, we dont need to waste each other’s time. How does that sound?” Its the truth anyway. Why go through a silly long presentation? But most people will not tell you unless you ask, and then shut up and listen.

I have a funny story about that. Back when I was President of Quality House of Graphics we spent over $2 million a year with Fuji film products. Agfa came in to make a presentation. They brought in well over a dozen people from all over the country to make the presentation. They had carefully orchestrated the presentation. It was so long ago it was with overhead slides.

I didnt know, it and I was late for a lunch with Movado, who gave me over a million a year in business. I got dragged into the room. I politely explained the situation and said I would do my best to help. So I went through their slides said, yes, 20,000 employees, blah blah quickly ripped through them all in 2 minutes found one that talked about a technology that could save us almost a million a year and said “why dont we focus on this? If it works its perfect for us” and left.

I left and later learned they were all in shell shock at the diner licking their wounds. Since they flew in from all over the country and had a carefully scripted and timed presentation. Come on people who doesnt do a needs study? Who doesnt ask a million questions to find out what someone wants before they present? Thats sales 101, or maybe it isnt. My friend Steve Giglio once did a sales seminar for our company, Quality House of Graphics decades ago. He is a genius and his training and method were explained over 2 days. It was $5000 back then, which was probably 30 years ago. I will summarize in one sentence my memory. Sorry Steve, this is what I remembered, but also how masterfully it worked.

He said ask a million questions and dont even try to present at the same meeting. You have to go back, study, gather and prepare a presentation, based on the plethora of facts that you gathered. As luck would have it, shortly thereafter I had a referral. True story. I had work from Saks Fifth Avenue, and was referred to the woman who was the production manager to buy print related materials at Paul Stuart.

So I met the woman from Paul Stuart, and I proceeded to ask questions, and quickly ran out. I then asked questions that were considered a no no in our industry. I asked what she liked and didnt like about her current supplier. I asked how many days it took to deliver, what their shipping department was like, how was their customer service people. How was their night shift. I held my breath, and I asked for her current suppliers pricing. I asked if they charged overtime. It was starting to get ridiculous. I asked so many personal questions not normally asked or shared in that situation.

The next day I got a call from my client from Saks Fifth Avenue. I held my breath. I thought I was in trouble. No one asks the other companies pricing. That is the whole purpose of three bids. And I asked so many other inappropriate rude questions. She said her friend told her she never met anyone ever that was so interested in her business. She was so impressed that I got the account. Fast forward to this week. Some people are slow and need to hear it 1000 times. Actually how many times have you heard something great, but it took more than once for you to use it?

I also have the disadvantage of being successful. So when you are successful 90% of the time, you dont think you have anything to learn. I keep hearing others quote dismal numbers like 20 to 30%. But I am also recognizing the distinctions. As my friends from Unblinded pointed out you cant skip a step.

As I answer phones for our cosmetic practice I always make friends to a fault, literally. Most conversations end with ” I cant wait to meet you” But rapport is only one part of the equation. Asking questions and minding your tone of voice is monumental. I have too much energy. Yes I convey all of our experience and firsts in the industry, and 90% of the people get the transfer of enthusiasm, and my desire to truly look out for their best interest, as their best friend.

This week I had a very different phone call. I might have to take the recordings and put them on Youtube to really contrast the two styles. So the call this week went more like this. It was Saturday when I called back the inquiry. I asked permission if it was OK that we spoke at that time.(that is an important step). Then I asked what procedures she had done in the past and shut up. I was tempted many times to offer relevant information to what she was saying, but I bit my tongue. She stopped, a number of times, but each time I waited three to five seconds to ensure she shared everything she wanted to share. Many times she had a lot more to say.

When she was truly done, ( I waited more than 7 seconds), I then explained what we offered that would align with her goals. We got agreement that an in person consult was the gold standard. To be honest at the beginning of the call there were so many questions, I dont think my old style would have worked to help her get the benefit of our experience to get the most effective treatment. She could have easily been swayed by one of the sexy new Med Spas that ironically dont have any experienced people to answer the phones, or offer the consults or deliver the treatments. In fact they dont even have the stronger more effective technologies, because they dont have the best technicians which would require hundred thousand dollar salaries. That is not their business model. They have a bunch of pleasant people that smile a lot and dont get paid much because they dont have any experience. I know every one of us have over 20 years of experience and I was doing her a favor by modulating my voice, which gave her the assurance and comfort to move forward vs my over the top enthusiasm that might be confused with uncertainty and trying too hard.

There is a lot to learn if you want to go from 90 to 100%. For those of us who already love people and want to do right by them.

So it took a lot of time for me to make these slight micro distinctions and minor changes. Funny, my friends at unblinded claim they have a lot of extremely successful people that they helped go from 90 to 99%. But I still also remember my lesson from Steve Giglio. I have to see what he is teaching today. I cant imagine how much better it must be refined over more than 20 years. But I will never forget his over the top questioning. I remember when I worked with him, he was mandatory training for all senior level American Express executives.

PS It just might work with your husband or your wife, assuming they are human. Dont answer that question. I know what you are thinking. Everyone wants to feel seen heard and understood.