We are all Dirty Diamonds

I was listening to an extremely successful person this morning, and he said that he developed an incredible ability to read people, because his father was sometimes drunk and abusive, and he needed to be able to read that very quickly so that they could respond properly, even to the point of hiding his siblings, and his mother from his father, if it was one of those days. 

For the first time it hit me. I don’t care how many thousands of times I’ve heard people say oh you’re unique there’s no one else on the planet like you, whether you have read it in countless self help books, scripture, in the Bible or wherever else it just seem like dribble. But this morning it hit me like a ton of bricks, because he was literally saying that his best quality was hardened into his personality and his Personna, when he was five years old. Then I got to thinking aren’t we all that way?

Wouldn’t it be fabulous if someone could explain to all of us in words that really hit home the positive nature of the dirt or the flaws that were pressure inserted into our personalities? Think about that. It’s just awesome. It’s breath taking. Sometimes we even are slightly aware of it, but not to the extent that we need to be. 

It’s like oh yeah that’s why I’m good at sales or this other thing.  Bullshit! This is really the core of who you are. This is big stuff.  If you don’t recognize it and analyze it in a very strong way you’re gonna fuck up your life. Like that very same person who is a phenomenal sales person because of some whatever broken home situation, divorce whatever, is literally accepting the worst partner on the planet to be their partner because of the same drive that makes them a great sales person. Wanting that love from a mother or father figure. This is so much more profound them a simple Freudian, yea I got it.

That’s crazy. So what I’m advocating is that you have a deep understanding of EVERYTHING that made you who and what you are. What made you, and how those qualities and characteristics affect you in a positive and a negative way, IN EVERY AREA of your life. If you don’t understand that, you’re gonna bounce around life like a ball inside a pinball machine. You are constantly going to get the same results, some good some bad, maybe some great sales results, but shitty relationships because there is some serious, lack or feeling worthy of a great relationship.

By the way, we teach what we need to learn, so I know I am talking to myself here. But I’m guessing there’s more than one person on the planet that may have picked up something from their parents or the people who brought them up.

I recently read, which was just mind boggling, another thing to think about in a very deep way. We are literally the only animals on the planet that are under the care of our parents for around 18 years. That’s crazy! Birds are kicked out of the nest really quickly, right after they’re hatching, so their mothers don’t get to create any sense of unworthiness or or any weird thoughts about themselves or insecurities. We have been graced with some feral cats on our doorstep. The mother seemed to have nursed for around 8 weeks and then took off. Pretty much every other animal doesn’t get to develop any neuroses. Only humans, while you were under your care of the people who raised you for whatever, 15 to 21 years.

You have been picking up so many beliefs and thoughts and ways of being, millions, literally, and now you’re trying to negotiate your life with all that crap and wondering why sometimes you are frustrated. Conservatively if you spent 4 hours a day in the presence of your parents 365 days a year for 18 years that is 26,280. Do you think it possible they might have passed on some beliefs and attitudes in that time? Heck if they passed on one belief or attitude per hour, there is 26 thousand you can start with to decide if you want to continue to believe them. I am sure most were well meaning. They didnt want you to suffer the same consequences they did, so “save your money, dont take any risks, its all rigged, only the rich get richer, dont make too much noise, play it safe, dont trust people, dont buy stocks, keep your money in a bank, get a safe job. Heck my dad insisted I join the Photoengravers Union so I would always have a job. Do you have any idea what that is? Its the people that made copper printing plates. That whole industry dissolved only a few years later in the seventies.

Obviously the first few years of life its more like 24 hours a day so we should probably add in at least 3 years x 365 days x 16 hours a day which is 17.520 hours of exclusive programming with a mind that isnt even yet formed. Heck at those young ages you can learn easily 5 to 12 languages or learn to hate yourself, men, women or all kinds of things are programmed into you.

Do you know what’s funny I was just about to say, thank God, some parents or most parents are good people, but on the other hand, some of the most successful people were raised or not raised by bad parents, and that becomes the core of who they are. They are literally running away from something at 100 miles an hour and $1 million is not enough 100 million is not enough, billions are not enough. They have this “flaw” deep in their diamond that’s the core of who they are that drives them and I just hope that they are good people. Some of the most successful, people we all have heard, have some deep flaws, that have been exposed recently.

I think that’s the proof of my concept. Here is the diamond that you all admire that’s worth billions of dollars. We find out that under great pressure a flaw was inserted into it. Their character, or the diamond that they are, has a flaw that’s not pretty. The point I am trying to make here is that if you don’t understand how you were created and what flaws make up the diamond that you are, you’re just gonna bounce around in life. I’m not trying to sell you anything and I’m not trying to point you to anything in particular. Go attend a Tony Robbins seminar, do the Sedona method, go to a traditional shrink, whatever works for you.

But don’t bounce around in life without understanding you. What drives you. What was created deep inside you, with pressure, that is still part of who you are that still affects you.

How are you experiencing life? Some parents say “life is a struggle” Some say “life is beautiful” Some say you were born to love and be loved. ” beware of strangers” “people will betray you, men will betray you.” The list is endless. And these beliefs were installed in you thousands of times before you even learned how to talk.

Happiness is being able to go about your life day-to-day enjoying it. You don’t want to be suffering from insecurities or acting in ways you actually don’t want to. And worse yet not knowing why you’re acting that way or participating in really poor relationships because you’re getting something that you need to soothe one of your flaws.

I keep saying this is the most important thing I can teach you, LoL, but this could be the big one for a lot of people if you think about it, take it to heart and understand who you are.

Hint where to look? Look at your greatest positive quality because I would venture to guess that is exactly what is inherent in what you are thinking of and value as your greatest quality. It was probably born of pain, and is also contributing to your worst way of being. I don’t want to call, ” being too nice to people that don’t deserve you being nice to them.”, your worst quality,

I want you to recognize that deeply embedded and pressure inserted into what makes you great is also what causes you the most amount of pain. And if you are not equally aware of your “flaws” that make you miserable as well as great, then you will continue to be miserable and successful and probably pretty confused and or just chalk it up to “thats just the way I am” Bullshit!

If your parents were alcoholics and you turn out to be a non drinker, I dont see any down sides. But if your parents were never around and you were abandoned or given up for adoption and you turn out to be the greatest salesperson ever but cant get into a healthy relationship, that needs to be recognized, explored and “let go of” or hypnotized out of you, or transactionally discussed with a shrink, or behavior modified out of you.

To live life unhappily with a flaw that can be removed is either ignorant, stupid or perhaps unrecognized. If I helped open the door into this area. Its got literally tens of thousands of hours of programming to unpack

I suggest when you look at the computer that you are. Why not remove the bad programming, fix the programming that serves you, perhaps a line of code needs to be inserted to remind you that its OK to be nice in securing that sale but not in a failed relationship.