If there is any thought in your mind right now you are not “listening” to what I am trying to tell you. If you are agreeing with me, you are not listening. If you are nodding, you are not listening. I did a YouTube below, maybe another way to think about it is, you have to “suspend your mind” Pretend you are watching the most important movie you ever watched and you have no idea what is coming next so you just watch and listen.

If you are on the phone listen to the tone and quality of their voice. What other cues are you getting? The moment your brain analyzes you stopped listening. The moment you desire to say you agree, or you have advice, you are not listening.

This is a completely different process that is almost like a meditation. Maybe that is another way that some of you can understand what I am trying to convey. Any of you ever meditated?

If a thought comes into your mind when you meditate what do you do? You let it go and go back to your meditation. That is what I am talking about.

But its actually a lot easier, because you are listening to someone you love, and you are genuinely interested to hear what they have to say, and you are willing to follow “their movie” wherever they take you.

I honestly only experienced it once. It was a few weeks ago and it was pure magic. It was so much fun listening to a new friend and an old friend in a way I never did before. It was so obvious too. They literally both sent me pictures of their children and grand children. (not that they hadnt shared before) But it was so spontaneous.

The other sign was that the conversation kept shifting. There was no agreement on my part no “I understand” “no I get you” “no ahum” ” no yeses” All of that means you are processing and thinking, and you are in YOUR mind. That is the opposite of listening.

Its really a lot harder than you think. I have literally read whole books on listening and never experienced what I recently experienced. You will know it when you experience it. Its an unbelievable loving experience of pure presence. Its like a duo meditation.

If you are doing NLP you are not listening. Because your brain is engaged listening to whether the other person is visual, auditory or kinesthetic. In other words, are they using visual auditory or kinesthetic cues. ie it “felt” great, you should have “seen” you cant believe what it “sounded” like.

Actually I am sorry I have even said that because it is kind of like saying dont think of a pink elephant. I was just trying to tell my friends who study NLP, that they are not listening.

I know NLP and when I was totally engrossed in listening to my friends I have no idea if they were auditory visual or kinesthetic. I was simply involved in listening to them as closely as I would a Broadway show that I just paid hundreds of dollars for the tickets and I am in the front row and I have no idea what is coming next, what are they going to say.

Just sit on the edge of your seat and listen like you would in that situation with no judgement

And NO FEEDBACK. Feedback is a sure sign you are not listening. You are processing what they said through your filter so you can tell them what you think and or how much you agree with them

THAT IS NOT LISTENING. Because while you were in your head thinking and processing what they said they were on to another subject and you barely heard them.

This is magical. Its true presence. And its like a magical meditation. It doesnt happen every day. But I promise you if you can learn this you will thank me more for this than any other thing I have ever said. Its pure magic. You will know it when it happens.

PS I just listened to a summary of a Book called ” You are not listening” Sorry shift response support response. That is exactly what I am trying to explain. If you are in your head trying not to shift and offering support, you are ABSOLUTELY NOT LISTENING. I am telling you get out of your head. Dont even think about giving supportive responses or nods or yeses. You dont need to buy a book that is going to get you back into your head and teach you how to agree. Just listen with no judgement. No judgement MEANS NO AGREEMENT or Disagreement. NOTHING. Its a meditative out of body experience.

Try listening to