I recorded this as well. I want to also write it because it is such an important concept that a light bulb went off in my head this morning. I literally have never heard this said, so let me tell you what to look out for.

Let me give you two examples. You set a goal no drinking for 30 days. You reach it easily so you have a celebratory drink. Hmmm how is that going to work out? You set a goal to lose 10 pounds, you easily reach it so you stop at dunkin donuts on the way home to celebrate.

Even dating, you want to “get” the guy or the girl and you are completely intoxicated on the first 5 to 10 dates culminating in intimacy and an orgasm. Then what? Well he is such a slob he doesnt even know how to put the cap on the toothpaste. She is too neat and is already criticizing me. You get the picture?

So the point that I want to bring to happiness came from a business podcast I was listening to a month ago. The neuroscientist doctor was pointing out the difference between the extremely successful and the so so successful. He explained that when you reach a “goal” there is literally a postpartum like depression that can be measured. Your happy chemicals dopamine, serotonin etc, that are being released while you are striving revert to a postpartum depression after you reach your goal. You probably have even experienced that, ” so now what moment” Those rare few that are super successful set a new goal and are excited and happy again and land up becoming billionaires.

I am taking that concept and applying it to your happiness and your life. So dont be the moron that loses 10 pounds and says ok I did it and slumps into the couch and eats 3 bowls of ice cream.

Maybe that is exactly the reason why we have so much yo yo dieting. If you set a goal and achieve it, and life is no longer exciting. I agree with Maxwell Maltz and Earl Nightengale, that we are goal setting organisms. We are excited and happy when we are involved in something and excited. These great thinkers didnt even have the ease and ability we have today to identify and measure all the chemicals we do today like Serotonin, Dopamine, Oxytocin, Norepinephrine, but these great teachers knew intuitively or observationally that we are the happiest when we are striving.

Stop for a minute and look back on your own life. Think how exciting it was when you took on something new, yoga, pilates, jogging, a new relationship. How exciting was it? Let me give you an example for those of you who jog. Talk about progressive goals. For me it was jogging one block, 1/2 a mile, 2 miles 5 miles, 10 miles. Get it? Success and fun is constantly improving, new and exciting goals. Not yo yo dieting. You have two choices after that first orgasm with the new partner, criticizing, failing or digging deeper to create a relationship (new goal). Hopefully you did some deep digging before you jumped into bed but that is not just another post, but a whole book.

So forget the thermostat concept that even my favorite mentors talk about. It hit me on my morning walk when Bob Proctor reiterated the thermostat concept. So when its set at 70 and it dips the furnace comes on to bring the heat back up to 70. That is EXACTLY THE PROBLEM. You dont want to bring it back to the same boring place. That is boring. You want a new goal that will get you excited again or it literally leads to failure. YES FAILURE. “Reaching a goal without setting a new one is a sure road to failure.” John Aslanian

Let me talk to the women for a minute. So Bob Proctor said the reason is you have an image in your mind of a heavy or fat person that you always were, or maybe a size that you were. So you went up to size 8 or 9 and you want to get back to size 7. Big deal. This is where I disagree. So you do it and you are back to where you were for the past 10 years. So you celebrate and get bagels on the way home. What if you decided I havent been a size six since my twenties but that is my new goal. How exciting and motivating would that be?

So the point of this post is there are real chemical changes that take place when you reach your goal, if you are like most, if not all humans, its like postpartum depression. If you want to stay engaged and excited in your life, set an even greater goal. If you want to be happy, thats what a happy life is all about. Would you tell your children congratulations you passed first grade you are now done go out into life?

Prefer to listen? The Danger of Goal Setting, How to Avoid the Postpartum that everyone gets after reaching your goal that no one talks about. Its physical and measureable Hint if you dont set the next goal you are setting yourself up for the Yo Yo effect, whether its your weight your commissions or the quality of your relationship.