I recently had a fabulous experience. I was able to get past something that has happened countless times in my life. I used David Ellzey’s very special blend of his techniques evolved from the Sedona method. I have studied with him for years, and it really is magically effective for deep seated, life long triggers and issues.

I want to write it now while its fresh in my mind. I dont know if I will share this with the world. It is very personal. I know I can not teach decades of learning in a few hundred words of a blog post. But some people will “get it”, or want to get more, or at least it will open the door, and shed some light into some aspects of this whole area.

These are my thoughts. Get professional help if you need it. And I havent taken any serious courses in psychology. So I am loosely using terms like triggers, and simultaneously stored information, to explain to us normal human beings, in hopes that my plain speak might actually help a few people here and there.

I am sure you have all heard of “triggers.” Its the fact that simultaneously stored information is simultaneously released. As an extreme example, someone is having a casual discussion with their partner, and casually and lovingly mentions, that she “shouldnt do such and such,” in the kindest non threatening way. Yet she literally loses her shit, and wants to kill him, and will not speak to him the rest of the night.

Of course, he didnt know that in her foster home the head person, who was truly a horrific person, that was eventually sent to prison, often said “you shouldnt do such and such.” The head person then proceeded to lock her in a dark cold basement for 2 days, when she was a child. And she probably doesnt even know it. Because the memory was so painful it was completely repressed or forgotten. As the brain would do to protect you from something that damaging. But the trigger is there and she is unconsciously and viscerally reacts to those words.

So that is my extreme example that anyone can understand. I, hate being ignored, not listened to, silent treatment, take your pick. My leg is actually doing the up and down shaking while I am merely writing about it. So its probably not all gone yet.

I cant tell you how many fights I have gotten into with my partner. She is very linear. She is a surgeon, she hyper focuses, and when she is on a mission, no one can be in her way. She has even said to me, when she practically shoved me out of the way, that she is used to being in an operating room, and people hand her the scalpel or tools she needs, without question

I already know what you are saying. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior I am being walked all over. But for now, I am assuming no one is reading this, so I am going to continue. Unless one day I am feeling really generous, and want to share something this personal, in the hopes of helping others, because this is more real world

She also is like a cat. She loves her alone time. She literally cant hear you when she is focused on something. Again I hear the cries of BS. But play with me for a while here. PS I am exactly like a dog. A golden retriever. I always run up to my friends and burst into telling them the latest news and share my newest thing or supplement with them in order to help them. So my friends all love me (I hope) and know who I am and understand I am being genuine in my caring for them. And to be fair I often barge in and am so excited to see them I forget to ask if I am interrupting something. PS this is all in another post from just last week.

In that post I attempted to explain the counterintuitive nature and letting go of “wanting” love. And the stillness is deafening. I am in a fabulous place. And I am able to give the kind of love everyone wants, true Presence with a capital P. I have nothing in my brain when I am listening. No agenda. It was the easiest thing in the world. All I did was let go of my shtick and I could finally hear them speaking.

There were no wheels turning. What should I say? how can I fix them? “This reminds me of.” ” I have the perfect solution”. And for my Tony Robbins friends. I wasnt listening for visual, auditory or kinesthetics clues. I was just listening out of love. It is the easiest thing to do, because I love my friends and family. And the process consists of letting go of your schtik so you can listen. Its doing less.

So tonight, I dont know wtf happened? I was literally just writing that I was literally the happiest I have been in my whole life. My partner was consumed with IRS paperwork, a bad back, upset stomach, and a cat with an eye infection.

So she comes into the kitchen doesnt say a word to me. She finally says “I need the sink”, curtly in my opinion. So that was the only 2 words that passed amongst us. OK to be fair, I got out of her way and she said thank you. Also to be fair, we got antibiotics for the cat, so I knew she was going to crush them up and put them in their food. But I was so angry. I was consumed with wtf? How do you not talk to me? How do you ignore me? on and on and on. I went from zero to sixty in just a few seconds.

So I tried to “fix it” myself. Instead of joining in with those of you that want to find her being the asshole. I did a little Sedona exploration on myself. It was amazing. OK fuk it I am going to write it all here as I did in my diary. It is literally me using the method, just a few hours ago, and how I did it and what were the results that were about me.

Straight from my diary.

“She just walked in and completely ruined my beautiful day. Her capacity for narcissism and not giving the slightest acknowledgement of me is astonishing.

No matter how kind and loving I am  Her capacity for general civility is ZERO. So I began with the questioning.

Can I allow her shit mood to affect me? Can I allow her shit mood to not affect me? ( exploring the polarities)

Can I allow my self to feel the affects of her behavior? Whats the story?

Ok she is like a bull in a china shop when she is not feeling well coupled with pain just a rip roaring asshole. 

Can I allow myself to hate her behavior? Can I allow myself to “let go” of hating her behavior? Back and forth. ( allowing yourself to explore the polarities because both feelings are present)

Ok so she is in a shit mood, it has nothing to do with me, but that’s intellectual. What is the feeling underneath that? Wanting love? approval? even acknowledgement? ( this is called threading you keep looking what is underneath that and what is underneath that, and just keep digging deeper or peeling layers, or as Sedona method calls it, “threading”

Her behavior doesn’t even acknowledge anyone else’s existence  

Do I need her acknowledgement to exist? Where have I felt this before?

Answer; When I am fighting with a woman, and others before, where they ghosted me,

So this is bringing up or reprising some extremely painful situations from the past.

Can I allow myself to want to be acknowledged?

Can I want to exist? Can I allow myself to not exist? Do I need someone else to acknowledge my existence?

Breathe box breath. Various women J……, N…….., E………, L……., even Dad

When have I felt “not being seen or heard at all?

What is the feeling underneath that? Wanting to be seen.

Is it security, approval, control?

A bit of all, control for sure. Security, existential existence.

Approval for just being loving no matter what. Pick one.

So can you allow yourself to want to be seen? acknowledged? Can you let go of that?

Can you want to be seen? Can you want to not be seen? Back and forth

privacy? Being seen, invisible? Seen? Wanting to be seen, not seen

breathing. Can you remember a time you felt like you weren’t seen? 

Holy Shit Turning Daddy’s face to listen to me? At the dinner table. It was as clear as if it was yesterday. I was probably five years old. We were in Teaneck NJ.

Everyone thought it was cute. Its weird I remember them saying that I was so cute. I have told the story before but I have never had it recalled in vivid detail before.

No one listened to me. I was the littlest sibling, probably 5 years old. I was at the table with my 2 sisters, one probably 7 and the other 10, my mother and my grandmother, in the kitchen from the fifties, painted green metal cabinets.

My father was having a rare dinner with us. He worked as many as 3 jobs and was never home. So I finally had the rare occasion to speak to him.

Can you allow yourself to want to be heard?

Can you let go of wanting to be heard? Can you want to be felt? Can you let go of that? How does all of that feel?

A lot less for sure almost magically when you think of the present situation now what do you feel/think?

Really? almost nothing in a nice way, She is wrapped up in trying to take care of the cat she is probably just as worried as me, if not more.

And she is linear, cant walk and talk at the same time. LOL.  That’s a good feeling LOL LOL She really has no clue,

Can you be loving? Without having to talk about it? I often want to tell her about my new found discovery. No longer. Just enjoying the stillness.

Actually for once literally for the first time in my life?

YES I was really angry just a few minutes ago.  

What a liberty and not the way it used to be where it was just for a moment this is real. I really let go of something and explored what it brought up for me. Wow Wowee wow wow. I am still on my path Thank you L thank you David

Guess what? They have their triggers too. A lifetime decades of experiences from early childhood, preteen, teen years, relationships. You have no idea when you are stepping on a land mine. And what about if you are like us? where my triggers are the exact opposite of hers? what a disaster waiting to happen every day.

Oh well in my stillness lets see what is next. Cant wait to continue on this path. Thank god I am a kind person, this stuff could be dangerous. My desires are to be loving period.

PS this is two days later I am editing this so I can publish it. On the way home today I was saying something and she turned up the radio to hear something. I chuckled to myself vs getting all angry and telling myself yet another story. This is my shtick. You can think what you will I have freedom. And I am happy. Isnt that what we all want? PS freedom means freedom. I get to make choices that make sense for me free from being controlled by anger or being controlled by my past.

A month later. What a joy. Also learning to listen so much more. What a gift. I get the bigger gift, a more loving relationship.