I know this is free health and beauty tips, but, what could be more important ? If you are happy does it really matter what you look like ? Now I am at risk of putting myself out of business. But thats OK.  Too many people have told me that something I have told them resonated with them, or changed their life.  So, I think I owe it to share.  Maybe a lot of people might resonate with the way I say things.  I know I have read a lot. When I left Manhattan I donated over 2000 books and hundreds of tapes ( I know I am dating myself)  But everyone once in a while when someone said something just a little bit different, the light bulb went off in my head, even though I had heard it before and “knew it”. So here goes. Let me give it a try and see if I can say something that resonates for you.

ARE YOU LIVING YOUR LIFE OR JUST ANALYZING IT ?
I was talking to a friend today. On a scale of 1 to 100, there are the Buddhist monks who can make a ceremony of sipping tea, in their one and only robe, and have a genuine smile of joy from ear to ear.  Then there is us, in our shower, obsessing about the day, that hasnt even happened yet. So on a basic level, I am sure you have heard, you can only live in the present. If you are in the past or the future you truly are not living at all.  Forget about “living in the moment” You literally cant live in the future or the past, so you truly are not living at all.  

You might be planning or obsessing or worrying, but you literally are not living at all.  I am guilty too.  As an extreme example, I think I have only taken one shower in my life, where I was actually present; feeling the water, listening to the sounds, feeling the temperature, the water running over my head and down my body, smelling all of the different soaps and shampoos, feeling the wash cloth on my body, splashing more water, rinsing, watching the water. All of the other 100,000 showers I did the same thing you did.  I planned my day etc.  Do you think my day would have gone any different if I just showered and planned a few minutes later ?

But back to analyzing. So there is you and me, and then there is the guy with the sign “The Earth is coming to an End”   Talk about living in the future.  He is actually right. But unlike you who are thinking about what you are going to do when you finish reading this, he is worried about a billion years in the future.  There truly is no lack of things to worry about. If on a scale of 0-100 you are where the guy with the sign is, you are at risk of getting locked up. But where are you on that scale ? How close are you to him ? How close are you to the monk ? If you want to enjoy your life, well, you have to enjoy it. You are not enjoying your life when you are analyzing it, worrying about the future or the past. 

90% of the reason it is so enjoyable to date a very young person, is that they are not full of stories of things to watch out for in a relationship, they are just full of joy, and ready to explore, and live and see what happens. Very few of us even escape our 20’s without a few “battle scars” let alone a lifetime of relationships. Act as if this is the first person you ever dated. Forget your history with your present partner. Give them the benefit of the doubt, dont assume because so and so did something, this person might do it too. Then you will be as attractive as the younger person. The worst thing that can happen is you will actually have fun vs worrying about where its going, are they suitable ? Seriously some people actually have already projected this person into a number of different situations  and decided that the person is not suitable. They havent even spent enough time with them to determine their feelings but they are already analyzing this person in various future situations. OK we all do it. But writing it down it sounds a little crazy. Why not just live your life vs analyzing it. 

This goes for everything.  Sure thoughtful choices, planning and thinking is a good thing.  But you really need to find the right line between spontaneously enjoying your life and worrying about your kids, your job or your future.  I would bet any amount of money you err on the side of worrying analyzing and not enjoying.  I think I have only met 2 spontaneous people in my whole life, and I cherish them because there is so much to learn from them, or children.  You are lucky if you have a spontaneous friend to emulate. But why not get some of that youthful spark and spontaneity back into your life. Not to be a sexist, here is a man thinking. Also happy to include “them” or “they” thinking, feel free to send me a photo of “them”